


Jack O'Neill, Sex God; or, And They Call This A Punishment?

by dustandroses



Category: Eureka, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Aliens Make Them Do It, Crack Fic, Crossover, Exhibitionism, F/F, First Time, Humor, Kink of the Month, M/M, Rimming, Spook_Me, Voyeurism, sex in public
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-21
Updated: 2011-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustandroses/pseuds/dustandroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel knew he shouldn’t blame Jack, but of all the weekends to get spat on by some local shaman in the middle of an obscure ritual and have some weird chemical reaction, this was the least convenient.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack O'Neill, Sex God; or, And They Call This A Punishment?

**Author's Note:**

> Eureka is the AU in this story. I've basically transplanted Jo into the SGC, making her an officer in the Air Force instead of the Army (in Eureka, she's an ex-Army Ranger.) Don't worry if you don't know Eureka, I'm sure you'll get along fine...Jo is pretty much a force unto herself. She seems right at home at the SGC.
> 
> This story started out as my Spook Me contribution. My prompt: Mutant Sex. Then I decided to combine it with KinkoftheMonth's double prompt for October: Rimming in Public Places. Yep, this one's got it all - and so much more.
> 
> First posted on December 23, 2006.
> 
> Special Thanks to my Betas: Ozsaur and Sid, my heroes and shit.

In Jack’s defense, Daniel had to say, he really didn't do it on purpose. After the tour through the temple Daniel had wanted to visit, complete with official escort, they had been invited back for an informal get together with the village elders. They’d been shown into the meeting hall and had quickly been caught up in an interesting local custom involving a totem club and the naming of names. Unfortunately, one of the elders had a pet dog-pig type creature that decided to try and chew its way through Jack’s boot in an effort to get to the foot inside.

Distracted while trying to pass the totem on, Jack managed to deliver a direct and fairly forceful blow to the middle of the shaman’s forehead, which led to a seizure of some kind. When the shaman came to, he performed some sort of ritual cleansing, which involved a green, viscous liquid being spat all over Jack’s face, which didn't seem very cleansing to Jack, if his indignant complaints were any sign. The villagers then escorted them back to the gate with a rather rude 'don’t let the door hit you on the way out' parting speech that the team took to heart.

Once back at the SGC, they went straight to the Infirmary and gave Janet samples of the liquid Jack had been exposed to. While Janet ran a few tests on the fluid before releasing him, Jack commandeered a hospital bed so he could nap while he waited. And that’s the last anyone saw of him for quite some time.

   


* * *

  


General Hammond walked into the Infirmary, a scowl on his face. “What do you mean, you lost him?”

Sam jumped slightly. “He was right here, sir, on the bed. We just let him sleep while we finished the testing on the substance in these vials, and the next thing we knew, he was gone.”

She shared a worried glance with Teal'c and Daniel. Jack could be uncooperative and worrisome from time to time, but on some things he was a stickler. He would never have snuck out of the infirmary like this if something wasn't wrong.

Lt. Colonel Reynolds looked glum, but then he always did. Daniel wondered if it was his nature to look like he just lost his dog, or if it was tied to his position as Head of Security for a top secret facility that few even knew existed. It must be a major headache to try and maintain security in an operation that came into contact with aliens on a daily basis. Not to mention the weird stuff that the teams brought back to the base with them - intentionally or otherwise. No wonder Reynolds was such a dour man.

Dr Frasier looked up from her clipboard. “We really must find him, General. It seems that exposure to this liquid is altering his chemical make-up. I don’t know exactly what is going on yet, but his hormone levels are all over the charts. In particular, the colonel’s testosterone and adrenaline levels are elevated and still rising.”

Hammond did not look happy. “What exactly does this mean, Doctor?”

“I don’t know yet, sir. There's no telling how this will affect him. He needs to be under medical supervision so we can monitor him and run more tests.

The general nodded. “And the rest of the team?”

“All clean, sir. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Do you need Major Carter’s assistance?”

“Please, sir. That would be very helpful.”

“Colonel, you mentioned you have already alerted NORAD’s security?”

“Yes sir. He hasn't been near the elevators and my officers have instructions to hold him if he tries to get to the surface."

“Run a floor by floor sweep immediately." Reynolds nodded and stepped away to speak on his radio in a tense voice.

The general went on. "In the meantime Doctor, you and Major Carter figure out what that substance is and what it's doing to the colonel.”

They both snapped their answers at him at exactly the same time, “Yes, sir.”  
The general swept away with Reynolds in tow, already planning the search. Teal’c took off after them, obviously hoping to be of some assistance. Carter stopped Daniel as he headed out in the same direction.

“Daniel. Do you think there might be anything in the footage you took at the temple this afternoon that might explain that odd ritual or the effects this might have on the Colonel?” She looked like she was grasping at straws, but Daniel was relieved to have something to do that actually seemed to be productive. He grabbed his notes and his camera and headed to his office.

This was not the way he had intended for this day to go. He had plans for the weekend. Not crucial plans. But plans none the less. He had a stack of journals to catch up on, laundry to do and Jack was having a cook out on Sunday. Things had been a bit dicey between the two of them recently, and Daniel felt somewhat responsible for that.

Several months ago, Jack had kissed him. Daniel hadn’t reacted well.

“Uh, Jack. What the hell was that?”

“Well, unless I’m much more out of practice than I thought, Daniel, they call that a kiss. Not much of one, because I have to admit, it works better when there’s actual participation from both sides. I can assure you, I can do better, but I’ll need some sort of co-operation on your end.”

It had taken Jack some time to convince Daniel that he had actually **intended** to kiss him, and that he would like to do it again, preferably on a regular basis. Daniel was surprised to realize that Jack was perfectly serious about it and was not, in fact, playing a rather elaborate hoax on him. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

Jack had avoided him since then, and it had taken some work on Daniel’s part to convince Jack that their friendship could survive his unfortunate - mistake? Whatever you wanted to call it. But it was going to take effort, and he was tired of the endless distractions that stood in the way of getting their friendship back on track.

He knew he shouldn’t blame Jack, but of all the weekends to get spat on by some local shaman in the middle of an obscure ritual and have some weird chemical reaction, this was the least convenient. This could only happen to Jack.

Daniel was immersed in the local legends of P4T-879 when he got the call. Janet sounded disturbed, but had refused to say what the problem was over the phone, so he headed for General Hammond’s office. The general’s temper seemed to have shortened considerably since the last time Daniel had seen him.

“You have something to tell me that couldn’t be said over the phone, Doctor Frasier?”

“Sir, I’m afraid we may have an epidemic on our hands. We need to establish an official quarantine and start isolating everyone who has had contact with Colonel O’Neill since he left the Infirmary two hours ago.”

The general’s head came up in surprise. “You have evidence that whatever is affecting the colonel is contagious?”

“Yes sir.” Janet glanced over at Sam, then cleared her throat. She seemed uncertain as to how to proceed.

“What kind of symptoms are you running into here?”

“Um. Well, sir.” She glanced at Sam again, but the panicked, wide-eyed stare on Sam’s face wasn’t encouraging. Daniel hoped Janet could handle this on her own, because it looked like she wasn’t getting back-up from Sam anytime soon.

“Doctor?”

Janet took a deep breath. Looking straight into the general’s eyes, she came right out and said it: “Sexual promiscuity - sir.”

The general’s face got really red - Daniel was amazed at how fast it happened.

“Did I hear you correctly, Doctor?”

“Yes sir, you did. I’ve examined seven people, all of whom have interacted with the colonel in the last two hours, and they have all had sexual contact with him.”

Daniel blinked. Jack was more than a few years older than Daniel, and even he would never have been able to have sex with seven different people in a two hour period. He had to admit, he was impressed. Obviously, Daniel was not the only person who was thinking that same thought.

“Seven times in the last two hours? How is that possible?”

Hammond’s voice was slightly strained, and he realized that not only had the flush not left the general’s face, but it seemed to have also traveled upwards to the top of his head, as everything above his neck was currently beet red.

Ignoring the general's embarrassment, Janet managed to maintain a professional air. "I have no idea, sir. The colonel is in excellent physical shape, but I believe the green substance is responsible for his," she coughed, "new level of activity."

“I need him back in the infirmary so I can run more tests. So far, nothing has shown up in the blood work of the other - um, participants, so I need samples from the original source."

“Their blood hasn’t been affected? Then how do you know that they’ve been infected?”

"Well, sir, they have all admitted to an intense physical attraction to the colonel that they hadn't experienced before. All it seems to take is one touch of his hand - the reaction sets in immediately.”

Daniel felt an irrational urge to tell Janet to just shut up. When he examined the emotion he was feeling, he realized he was jealous. It pissed him off that Jack was having sex. But he didn’t understand why. After all, **he** didn’t want to have sex with Jack, so you would think he’d be glad Jack was at least getting some, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t happy about it at all. He forced himself to concentrate on what Janet was saying – determined to sort out his own personal demons later.

“The contagion spreads through close physical contact after that. The carriers don't have the same ease in transferring the contagion, it takes longer to spread - more contact is needed, and it needs to be of a more intimate nature. But it’s like the domino effect. Colonel O’Neill’s touch is needed to start the fall of the first domino, but after that, physical contact with anyone touched by him will spread it further down the chain.”

Janet was exchanging glances with Sam again, and the flush on Sam’s face was close to rivaling the one on top of Hammond’s bald spot. There was something that they weren’t saying here, and it suddenly occurred to him that Janet had been very careful to not mention exactly who had been in contact with Jack.

“Is he at least using some sort of protection?”

“No, sir. He is not. Fortunately, the colonel had a clean bill of health this morning and most of his partners have been tested recently. That will lessen the possibility of spreading any sexually transmitted diseases."

Suddenly Daniel was aware of what Janet was about to say. He hadn't suddenly become psychic, he just knew that there was only one thing that could possibly make matters any worse at this point. There was just no doubt in his mind that things were about to get as bad as they possibly could.

“Is there a chance that any of the um, partners could become pregnant?”

“No. That is one thing we don't have to worry about, sir.”

General Hammond looked constipated now, and Daniel had to admit, it was not a good look on him. “Go ahead and say it, Doctor Frasier. I fail to see how avoiding the words would make any difference at this point.”

“No, sir. You’re right, it won’t.” She took a deep breath. “All seven, sir, have been male.”

The general buried his face in both hands, sighing heavily. “Let’s keep this as quiet as possible under the circumstances, shall we?” He looked up again. “I’ll let the Pentagon know we are under quarantine, and tell Colonel Reynolds what we’re up against. He’ll have to warn his security detail not to come within reach of the colonel. They’ll isolate him, and contact us immediately.”

“I’ll be interviewing the patients when I return to the Infirmary, and I’ll let you know as soon as I find anything that might help.”

“Please assure them that there will be no recriminations concerning their - um, actions, as they have obviously been exposed to a contagion of some sort and had no control over their - dear god, this is a disaster.”

He sighed heavily, then turned to Daniel. “Dr. Jackson? Major Carter informed me you were researching the data you obtained at the temple on P4T-879. Have you found anything that might explain what has happened here?”

Daniel realized with a start that actually, he had. It had made no sense at the time, but now, it all began to fall together. “Yes, sir. I believe I have. The Temple of Denkiton is the focal point of the worship of Denkuron, the god of Recreational Sex.”

There was a muffled snort from Sam’s corner, and he realized she was recalling the friezes they had discovered covering the walls of the Temple. Her eyes widened and her hands flew up to her mouth as she realized what she’d done. She finally found her voice.

“Sir. The walls of the temple were covered with murals of men and women involved in homosexual acts.”

Daniel nodded. “Exactly. Apparently, the population keep procreational and recreational sex separate at all times. It is forbidden for them to have heterosexual sex, except for procreation. The act is considered holy, and is only allowed at certain times of the year, dependent on the cycles of their two moons.

“The moons are named after the FatherGod Lantonos and his wife the MotherGod Cemarce, who parented all the gods and goddesses who later spawned the rest of the population of the planet. When the two moons meet in the sky, the population is allowed to have reproductive sex. At all other times, they are only allowed to have recreational sex within their own gender."

Now that he had a reason to get caught up in the lore of another civilization, he let go of the traces of guilt he'd felt for allowing himself to get immersed in the mythology of this fascinating culture while Jack was under the influence of some unknown substance.

Once he found an actual connection to all the research he'd been doing it was difficult to keep his enthusiasm for the subject toned down. He felt himself getting carried away with the legends, so he tried hard to keep his gesticulating to a minimum and his rapid-fire speech slowed down to a more sedate pace.

“Although they have no bias against homosexual sex, it seems to be quite an insult to be forced to abstain from reproductive sex when the rest of the population is procreating. It seems that Denkuron managed to anger his father by refusing to have children with the goddess Lantonos and Cemarce had chosen for him. His punishment was to be cursed with the ability to attract only the male of the species, and so he would never be allowed to have children to carry on his line.

“It was said that all Denkuron had to do was touch another man, and they immediately fell at his feet and - um…began to - worship him.” Daniel had a bit of trouble getting that last sentence out, he wondered if his own blush was rivaling the ones the general and Sam were both still sporting, but he couldn’t tell without a mirror.

The general cleared his throat. “Was there any reference to a way to reverse this - process?”

“Not yet, but I haven't translated that part of the legend, since I didn't understand Jack’s... situation. Now that I know how urgent it is, I'll get right on it. But I think we may have to go back to the planet and speak with the Shaman Jack insulted."

“We’ll keep that as a back up plan for the moment. I’d rather not risk anyone else becoming infected.”

Janet nodded. “I agree, sir. I’d rather take care of this on our side.”

“Right. I need to speak to Colonel Reynolds and upgrade the quarantine proceedings. Let me know if any of you come across any information that may be relevant for Reynolds’ search. And please, all of you - keep this as quiet as possible.”

At that moment the overhead speaker system crackled into life.

 _“Okay, is this thing on?”_

“Is that the-” Sam was interrupted by Jack’s voice.

 _“Testing, testing? Can you hear me alright, Walter?”_

“Oh, yes, that's definitely Jack’s voice.” Daniel felt a tendril of dread run up his spine - he had a feeling this was not going to be pretty.

There was a muffled noise of some sort and then they heard Walter Davis' voice. _“I’m right here, sir. I can hear you just fine.”_

 _“Oh, right. So you are. You just get back to work, then, okay? Yeah, that’s right. Oh, yeah. That’s good, Sergeant. You sure you’ve never done this before?”_

 _“Never, sir.”_

 _“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Walter, it’s not polite.”_

 _“Sorry, sir.”_

Hammond was already on the phone. “Morgan, get Reynolds in here immediately!”

There was another male voice in the background then, but Daniel couldn’t hear everything that was being said. He got a couple of words, though - that sounded like shouts of _“Harder. Faster!”_ and then Jack’s voice again: _“Whoa, Teal’c - be careful where you aim that bad boy! Not in the eye, not in the eye!”_

They all realized what was going on at just about the same time. Janet’s face had gone as pale as Sam’s had turned bright red. The general looked like he was about to have a stroke, his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out. Daniel suddenly realized that, until that moment, he had never fully understood the meaning of the word apoplexy.

Sam jumped up and headed into the briefing room where she had access to the computer system. With no idea of what else to do, Daniel and Janet followed her. Unfortunately, the strains of Jack’s painfully out of tune rendition of an x-rated version of Three Blind Mice as accompanied by the sounds of at least three men having rather athletic sex was just as loud there as it was in the general’s office.

In spite of Jack's musical number, they could hear the minute someone entered the general's office from the hall. Janet and Daniel exchanged winces at the anger in the general’s voice, but couldn’t think of a thing to say. Besides, Daniel thought, Jack has a corner on all the good stuff.

 _“You like that risqué stuff out there? How about another one, then? Okay, here we go._

 _“Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie  
kissed the girls and made them cry.  
When the boys came out to play  
he kissed them too, cos he was gay._

 _“I always loved that one. Oh, here’s another one I used to love as a kid...”_

It wasn’t until they heard a female voice speak up that Janet stepped back until she could see into the office door. She shook her head. “Oh, Sam. It’s Major Lupo, poor thing. I wonder what happened to Colonel Reynolds?”

Daniel walked over to join Janet, to get a glance inside. “This is her first emergency as Reynolds’ second, isn’t it? Ouch. But she was Special Forces, right? Look at her. She’s tough.”

Janet shook her head. “For her sake, I hope so.”

She had **looked** tough, the first time Daniel had seen her in the gym – with her dark hair pulled back tight, and the sleeves of her black t-shirt rolled up to show the Air Force tattoo on her left upper arm. Lupo had laughed at one of the Marines from the combat unit SG-3 when he’d gotten creamed by one of his fellow teammates. He’d challenged her then to force her to prove herself. Jack just smiled and told him to watch carefully when Daniel asked if he was going to intervene.

She’d accepted the Marine’s challenge, with a twist of her neck – cracking it in both directions before stepping onto the mats. She then proceeded to lay those Marines out, one after the other. Daniel hadn’t been the only one impressed. She’d earned the respect of pretty much everyone at the SGC that day, and no one had been surprised when after only six months on the job she had taken over as Colonel Reynolds' second officer.  
 _  
"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard  
to fetch her poor dog a bone.  
When she bent over Rover took over  
and gave her a bone of his own."  
_  
When Sam said “Uh-oh,” Daniel’s heart sank. He was so used to Sam being able to solve anything she put her hands to, that it was a bit of a surprise when she ran across something she couldn’t handle.

 _“Teal’c. Hey T! Turn him over. You know, like they did in Debbie Does Dallas? Yeah, like that. That’s it!”  
_  
Hammond walked into the conference room with Major Lupo behind him.

“Can you track where the colonel is broadcasting from, Major Carter?”

“I haven’t tried yet, sir. I’ve been trying to get into the SGC mainframe first, to cut the sound feed to the intercom system, but there seems to be a rather impressive array of blocks set up, and it looks like at least a couple of hours worth of work here before I can just get past this wall. I could really use the help of Major Calder, or anyone else from the IT staff, but I have a feeling that at least one or two of them had a hand in setting this up. I’d like to suggest that one of the first things Security does is institute a search for Major Calder. Perhaps that could be added to the search already in progress for Colonel O’Neill?”

Major Lupo nodded. “I’ll make it a priority. You said the mainframe has been compromised? Does that include communication with the surface?”

“What about life support? Has that been compromised?” Daniel was surprised by Hammond’s question. He hadn’t thought about that.

Lupo spoke briefly on her radio, then reported to the general. “We still have access to the elevators from sublevel 12 on down. But Colonel Reynolds had control of the surface level elevators transferred to NORAD as per temporary quarantine procedures. If we can’t get word to them, we have no access to the surface.”

Sam nodded her head. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Teal’c’s voice called out - _“O’Neill, it is time for your promised instructions in the art of Deep Throating. I believe Sergeant Siler could benefit from your experience.”  
_  
 _“Of course he could, T, of course he could. Experience goes a long way, doesn’t it? Hey, maybe we should give everybody lessons! Now that’s an idea.”  
_  
There was almost a touch of pleading in the general’s voice. “Major? Anything?”

“I’m sorry sir, Life Support is at 100%, but I can’t get to it. And the phone lines work within the base but only from sublevel 12 down - no outside service. No internet, either. Nor can I get through the blast doors into the Gate Room. Looks like they have us pretty well boxed in. Whoever set this up knew what they were doing. If they were recruited by the colonel, they've had as much as two hours to get this in place. It's going to take me at least as long to get past it.”

“Well, you wanted a quarantine, Doctor. Looks like you got one.”

“You’ve up-ed the quarantine level, sir?” Lupo looked concerned – Daniel didn’t blame her.

“Major Lupo, until further notice you are in charge of Security."

Lupo snapped to attention. “Yes, sir.”

"We'll be getting no help from the surface. We'll have to tackle this one on our own. Come back inside; you and I have got some planning to do." He turned back to the others.

“Doctor Jackson, Doctor Frasier, you know what you should be doing. We’ll locate someone from IT for you as soon as possible, Major Carter. Until then, ask my aide Lieutenant Morgan for anything you need. I’ll be inside. Keep me informed of any new developments. Let’s get going, people.”

 _“Now this one is to the tune of ‘I’m a Little Teapot,’ so all of you out there, listen closely, we’ll sing it again, and I want everyone joining in second time around. Ready?_

 _I'm a giant penis,  
Long and hard,  
If you want to see me,  
Come in my yard,  
When I get all horny,  
Then I spout,  
Push me in,  
And pull me out!  
_  
The sound of Jack's laughter echoed through the room. _"Yeah. That gets me every time. Now I want everyone to join in this time around, okay? Ready?_  
 _  
"I'm a giant penis,  
Long and hard..."_

  


* * *

  
An hour later, Daniel had pretty much exhausted his resources. Without going back to the planet and speaking to the historian and that shaman, there was really nothing else he could do at the moment. With his computer down, he had no way to even cross-reference this to any other phenomenon they might have already run across. He had a headache. If he had to hear one more bawdy limerick, he’d kill himself and save Jack the time and trouble of driving him insane.

Fortunately Jack had calmed down in the last 15 minutes. He wasn’t sure if that was a good sign, or just a momentary lull, but he was taking advantage of the closest thing to silence he’d had since the intercom system had burst into life an hour ago. His eyes were closed, his head on his desk, and he was using both hands to try and rub some of the tension out of his own shoulders. It wasn’t working that well.

At least it was fairly quiet. The slurps and gasps and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh were the only sound other than Jack’s voice. Low and throaty, his instructions to one of the physicists from Sam’s lab, Greene he thought, on the proper way to give Jack head were surprisingly soothing to his ears. Well, he always had thought Jack had a nice speaking voice, when he chose to use it.

 _“Yeah…that’s nice. Now use your other hand to rub my balls. I like that. Hey, that was good. You can do that one again, if you like. Mmmmm. Use your - your tongue on the- Oh. Right there. That’s good. You feel that? Yeah, that’s it.”  
_  
Jack took a slow, deep breath, and Daniel shivered. Then reality flooded him with adrenaline, and he sat bolt upright. What the hell was he doing? He had to get out of there. Now. Had to do something. **Anything.**

He headed for the Infirmary. If there was any place that might have an idea of how to stop Jack before he had completely destroyed his career, the Infirmary would be the place.

The two Marines stationed at the elevator used keys to bring the car to Daniel’s floor.

He’d forgotten the quarantine that had been put into effect soon after he had gotten back to his office. Obviously he was on the list of personnel allowed access to the Infirmary, so the two Marines inside the elevator merely nodded at the two outside and pushed the button for him, accompanying him to the 21st sublevel.

Unfortunately, the sound of the intercom system followed him into the elevator as well, and Daniel spent the ride listening to the sound of Colonel Jack O’Neill’s loud and vocal orgasm.

 _“Oh Jesus! That’s it, Greenie, play it for me, baby - yeah, you got it, you got it! Swallow it, take it all. Uh, uh! Yeeeaaaah! Who’s your daddy?”  
_  
“You didn’t hear that,” he told the Marines as the elevator doors opened, “You didn’t hear any of that, did you?”

Their voices rang out in the confined space of the elevator, “No sir!” But the effect was spoiled by a snort of laughter from one of the guards stationed on the 21st floor as the elevator doors closed behind him. He spun around to two stone-faced guards, standing so stiffly at attention that he might have thought they were carved out of marble, if he hadn't known better. The general was right. This was a complete and utter disaster.

The Infirmary had become a war zone. There were orderlies and Airmen running in every direction, and Marines at every Recovery Room and Isolation Room door. If he wasn’t mistaken, two of Janet’s nurses were making out on one of the beds in the corner, distracting the Marine who was supposed to be watching the Infirmary entrance.

General Hammond had taken over Frasier’s office, and there was a steady stream of Marines and Airmen in and out of the office. As he got close enough, he heard Hammond’s voice shouting above the din, “Someone get me some coffee – and why can’t anyone get that noise off the sound system?”

Daniel was about ready to back out and see if he could find a nice quiet corner to collapse in when Hammond spotted him. “Dr. Jackson!” He stepped inside the office, hesitantly. “Yes, sir?” The general looked about as frazzled as Daniel had ever seen him. He hated that he had nothing good to report.

Just then, the phone rang and Hammond’s aide Lt. Morgan answered it and immediately held it out for the general.

“Major Lupo is on line two, sir.”

“Excuse me for a moment, Doctor.”

“Of course, sir.”

He noticed the test pattern flickering on and off the monitor of the computer against the wall. A test pattern on a computer screen? Obviously his was not the only computer that wasn’t working correctly. He asked Morgan, who was standing politely to the side of the desk, about it. She offered him a strained smile.

“The computer system has been offline for at least 20 minutes now, Doctor Jackson, all we can get on any monitor is this odd test pattern. For some reason, we can’t even find a way to turn the monitors off. The off switch doesn't work, and the general doesn't want us to cut the wires, or we'll have no access to the outside when we get power back. And Major Calder is still missing, along with Lt. Colonel Reynolds.”

The heads of both Computer Sciences **and** Security were missing. Good lord. Every time he thought this couldn’t get any worse -

Suddenly the test pattern on Janet’s computer disappeared and the monitor flashed to life. There was Jack, head and shoulders only, thankfully, considering the activity that could clearly be seen in the background. Siler was there, his ass in the air, leaning over a bank of monitors, being fucked rather soundly from the noises he was making, by Colonel Reynolds who appeared to be wearing nothing but his boots and his thigh holster. With great restraint, Daniel kept himself from making a snide comment about the fact that at least Reynolds was no longer missing.

The monitors all had the same picture Daniel was seeing: Jack’s face and bare shoulders, his hair in disarray and a wild look in his eyes. It seemed strange to see Jack’s face repeated over and again in the row of monitors behind Jack, especially the ones Siler was leaning up against. That was just creepy.

Daniel was distracted by Teal’c who walked into the camera’s field of view, carrying Dr. Claybourne, one of the civilian geologists, who was moaning and bouncing up and down on Teal’c’s cock, his legs wrapped around Teal’c’s waist. He was completely nude except that, for some odd reason, he was sporting a Raiders football helmet. He was yelling loudly and waving one arm in the air, like he was riding a bull at the rodeo.

Teal’c braced the man up against the wall behind the row of monitors, and began grinding his hips up into Claybourne’s body, the muscles in his back and ass flowing with a sinuous grace that Daniel would not have realized Teal’c was capable of, if he had not seen him training on a regular basis. He was naked from the waist down, and was wearing a white wifebeater that had the bottom half ripped off it, showing off his broad back and powerful muscles.

The sound of Jack’s voice coming from the overhead system as his lips moved on the computer monitor was a total shock to Daniel, as were the words he spoke.

 _“Ride ‘em, Cowboy!”_

The sound caused a strange kind of feedback loop in his head, causing Jack’s voice to ring in his ears. He realized he wasn’t alone in that when Lt. Morgan shook her head as if to clear it. Obviously she was having the same reaction.

The camera seemed to be set at about waist height, which was fine for viewing Jack who seemed to be leaning over, his arms on the table the camera seemed to be sitting on. Jack reached his fist out and tapped and Daniel imagined for one brief insane second that he was trapped inside the computer monitor.

 _“Hey, you guys out there. Stop it with the all the noise in the hallways, you’re disturbing our orgy in here.”_

He heard Hammond choking in the background and turned to see the general, phone forgotten in his hand, gaping at the monitor as Jack continued.

 _“Okay, now these are the new rules. From now on, the policy is Do Ask and Definitely Tell, At Every Opportunity. I want everyone out there having sex with someone of the same gender within the next fifteen minutes. Is that understood? Anyone discovered having heterosexual sex will be keelhauled, as soon as we figure out exactly what that means._

 _So far, I’ve been very disappointed in the quality of the sex around here,”_ there was a muffled noise from off camera, and Jack looked back over his shoulder to say, _“Not you, Walter, you’re doing great. Keep up the good work.”_ He reached behind himself, and suddenly you could see a head behind Jack’s bare ass and he patted it fondly - the head, not his ass - before turning around again.

There was a muffled, _“Thank you, sir,”_ as Jack looked back to the camera.  
 _  
“So we’ll be conducting mandatory training sessions from here in the Security Offices on the following subjects: Fellatio, Rimming and Anal Intercourse. I expect we’ll add Fisting at some point, but for now we’ll just cover the basics. We’re currently low on females here, so we’ll be adding Cunnilingus as soon as we get some volunteers. Frasier, you and Carter come on up, you both work too hard, I think it’s time you two got a chance to play. Don’t worry; it’s easy once you get the hang of it. You’ll be champion muff-divers in no time.”  
_  
There was a loud clattering noise, as if someone had dropped something metal onto the tile floor outside the office. Daniel had a feeling he had just located Janet, or Sam - maybe both.

 _“Oh, and George - I want to see you with your feet in the air, ASAP!” Hammond’s face turned purple, his mouth gaping wide as Jack told him exactly what he needed. “You’re a good man and an excellent commander, but you could use a good hard fuck, if you know what I mean. Wouldn't hurt you to loosen up a little, blow off some steam. Maybe you should come up here, too. I think you and Teal’c could get a nice solid rapport going.”  
_  
The camera moved jerkily to Teal’c who had set Claybourne down on a desk, and was currently screwing him across the surface, expensive electronic surveillance equipment crashing to the floor with each powerful thrust.

 _“What do you think big guy? You wanna fuck the general?”_

Without breaking his stride, Teal’c looked up and smiled widely at the camera, an unsettling sight in and of itself. But when he spoke his voice was frightening in its intensity. _“I would indeed appreciate the opportunity to ream your ass, General Hammond. But you would do well to remember that once you go Jaffa, you will never go back.”_

Hammond took a step back from the intensity in that stare, and fell backwards into the chair that stopped his retreat, his eyes wide in shock. Morgan recovered herself enough to whisper breathily - “Sir. Major Lupo …”

The general realized then that he still had the phone clutched to his chest, and he spoke into the receiver. “I’ll have to call you back, Lupo.” He never took his eyes off the monitor, and the handset missed the hook by a good two feet, falling off the desk and landing on the floor with a loud crack. Morgan jumped to grab it, and checked to make sure it was still working before hanging it up. Daniel thought she was probably thrilled to have something to do besides gape at a monitor like the rest of them.

In the meantime, Jack had obviously gotten distracted by Reynolds and Siler, who had switched positions, and were now engaged in a rather vigorous bout of 69 on the desk in front of the row of monitors.

 _“Hey, did you wash that thing before you put it in your mouth, Siler? Hygiene, gentlemen, hygiene! ”_ He turned back to the camera again, shaking his finger in warning. _“Remember proper hygiene at all times Airmen, no matter what your activities.”_ Jack stood up then, his face disappearing from view, revealing Walter behind him, blinking into the camera. Jack turned, smacking Walter in the face with his large and rather red erection. _“Yow! Oh, sorry about that, you all right there, Walter?”_

Walter nodded his head, and straightened his glasses. _“I’m fine, thank you, sir. Will there be anything else?”_

 _“You’ve done a really good job, Walter. It’s time for some reciprocity. You go use the mouthwash on the counter in there, then come on back and strip down. It’s your turn next, Chevron Guy!”_ Jack clapped him on the back as he stood up. _“You’re a real shining example to these fellas out there, Walter.”_

 _“Thank you, sir!”_ He double-timed it into the Security Office’s head, slamming the door behind him.

Jack bent over to look directly into the camera again. _“Now that is what you call a dedicated soldier. I’m proud to know him. Proud to know him.”_ He stood up then and Daniel drew back suddenly hitting his head against the wall behind him, as Jack’s swollen cock swung into view once again. His hand appeared then and he jerked himself a few times, then rubbed his thumb around the crown while his other hand reached down and fondled his balls.

 _“Damn. Get your ass out here pronto, Walter. I’m hard as a rock here.”_ Jack bent over so that his head was in the camera’s range again. He looked around as if he was about to offer a secret to the person on the other side of the monitor. _“I have to tell you, I can’t remember when I stayed this hard for this long. And that Shaman called this a punishment? I’ve come about twenty times already today. I’m like the freakin’ Energizer Bunny. I just keep going and going and going…”_ He walked over to the desk behind him, his erection bobbing proudly in the air in front of him as he went.

 _“Hey Calder, get a close up of these two here while we’re waiting for Walter.”_ The camera moved then, and they all got a really good view of Siler’s stiff cock sliding in and out of Reynolds' mouth. _“Yeah, that’s nice. That’s real nice. You’re getting the idea Reynolds, yeah. Whoa! Be careful of the teeth, now. Cover ‘em up with your lips.”_ His voice got muffled for a minute as he showed Reynolds what he meant. Leading by example, Daniel thought in a moment of utter absurdity. _“ike ish. Yeah. Good, good. You’ll be an expert cock sucker before you know it, Colonel.”_

Jack looked back at the camera, pointing his finger at the monitor. _“Now you pay close attention, okay? There will be an exam.”_

Daniel thought briefly that Jack must have known he was watching. He’d looked directly at Daniel when he’d said that. Then he realized how paranoid that made him sound, and shook his head to clear it.

The camera angle shifted suddenly, and the mesmerized audience got a good look at the top of the head of the man kneeling at Calder’s feet. It was impossible to tell who it was from the part in his hair, but he seemed to be having no trouble figuring out what to do with the erect cock he was currently sucking into his mouth.

But Jack knew exactly who he was. _“That’s the spirit, Airman! Initiative! The Air Force needs more men like you, Thompson. ‘Once more unto the breech, dear friends, once mor-’ Hey Walter, you’re back! Alright, Calder, let’s get the camera lined up again and you can go back to teaching Thompson how to find his prostate, all right?”_ The camera moved again, and Jack was once more in the lens. He was moving a naked Walter around until he had him where it suited him, leaning over a desktop with his ass pointed at an angle towards the camera.

Jack disappeared for a second, _“Let’s see what we’ve got here.”_ The camera moved in a little closer and the focus wiggled in and out for a second, then cleared up again centered on poor Walter, who was baring his all to the entire SGC.

 _“Hold your cheeks apart for me, would you, Walter?”_

 _“Yes, sir.”_

 _“Yeah. Like that. Okay, now.”_ Jack appeared in the camera again, rolling into view in a desk chair. He had a pointer of the same sort often used in classrooms the world over, and he was waving it around in the air as he spoke. _“The first lesson is dedicated to Walter here, the best damn ass licker I’ve ever had stick his tongue up my ass.”_

Walter’s head popped up and he turned around enough to smile proudly at the camera. _“Why thank you, sir!”_

 _“You’re more than welcome, Sergeant. You’ve earned the title. Now turn around and we’ll get started."_ He slapped Walter on the ass, and his head popped up again.  
 _  
“Thank you sir. May I have another?”_

 _“Whoa, Walter, you dirty dog, you! We’ll hang onto that one for the section on kink. Alright, pay attention out there. The first thing you should be aware of when rimming is to always know exactly where the mouthwash is.”  
_  
It obviously finally occurred to Hammond that he didn’t have to keep watching this fiasco, and he came to, yelling at the top of his lungs, “Get Major Lupo in here immediately! And someone throw a blanket over that monitor, now!”

Things started moving quickly again, as Lupo rushed into the office calling out orders on her radio and sending people out in about three different directions at once. The general was issuing orders rapid fire to Morgan, so Daniel snuck out to find something to cover the monitor with.

He caught a couple of nurses standing in front of a monitor at the nurses' station, watching Jack, who had his tongue so far up Walter’s ass that Daniel couldn’t see his nose. The power button on this monitor wasn’t working either, so he handed the nurses each a stack of blankets and told them to start covering every computer monitor they could find.

He could still hear Jack’s voice crying out, _“Hang on, Walter, my missile is directly on target and I’m coming in under the radar!”_ But at least he didn’t have to watch it as well. He had intended then to go in search of Sam and Janet. However, as he covered Janet’s monitor, Hammond and Lupo's conversation grabbed his attention.

“We know where they are, Major. As long as we can see them on our monitors we know what they are up to. This is the perfect opportunity to take back the SGC, and restore some sanity to this madhouse. I know you’d rather take the time to organize our resources, and I understand that impulse.

“However we need to strike while the iron is hot. Get your troops together - choose your best Lieutenant to make a frontal assault on the Security Offices. In the meantime, your team will slip in via this air shaft, while Carter takes back control of the computers from here. This will work. I’ll stay here to coordinate the attack.”

“Sir. I’d like to make a formal request that you reconsider this move. We are losing men left and right to this contagion, I think we need more intel before-” Lupo was cut off by the sounds of Teal’c’s orgasm, his shouts loud but wordless, cheered on by Jack the whole time.

 _“Yeah! Do it! Whoa. How ya doin’ there, Claybourne? Claybourne! Teal’c, I think ya wore the guy out! Hey George. I think Teal’c is ready for you now. Well, give him 15, he probably needs a shower first, after that. Go on, big guy. Get yourself all cleaned up for the general.”_

 _“Hygiene, O’Neill.”_

 _“That’s right, Teal’c, hygiene. Use that mouthwash while you’re in there, why don’t ‘cha? I'm sure the general would appreciate it.”  
_  
Hammond’s red face had drained in just one second’s time. He looked across the desk at Lupo then and she nodded.

“Don’t worry, sir. We’ll take them. Give me fifteen minutes to get organized.”

“Thank you, Major. I know I can count on you.”

Daniel followed her out. He knew as a civilian he’d never be expected to help, but he could handle a zat if he needed to, and at this point, they’d need all the help they could get. When they visited the Armory Lupo looked longingly at the big guns, but she stuck with the zats per the general's orders, handing Daniel a second, "just in case." He had to smile; she kept reminding him of a certain colonel of his acquaintance. Jack was never happy without his P-90.

  


* * *

  
They set things up just the way the general wanted. Both sides had refrained from using deadly force so far. Hammond had insisted on zats, and stun only, no more than one hit per person – both sides were still his men, after all. They hadn’t been expecting Jack’s troops to do the same, but they had.

But despite the general’s efforts, things didn’t go down exactly as planned. First off, the main body of Jack’s forces turned out to be far too busy fucking to fight. Not much of a surprise there. Second, the smaller main core of his defenders was much more prepared than expected. A good-sized surprise, although not a happy one. But the biggest surprise of all? When they got into the security offices, all they found was a video and audio feed of Jack reciting off-key dirty limericks.

 _"Little Bow Peep fucked a sheep  
Blew a horse, licked his feet,  
Ate his ass so very nice,  
Tongued his balls, not once, but twice._

 _That’s it, Claybourne! Suck my ass, you little cock suc-”_

Daniel hit the switch on the playback unit in disgust, cutting Jack’s voice off mid-word. “Where the hell are they?”

Lupo looked up suddenly. “General Hammond.”

“Oh, god.”

Major Lupo led her team back to the elevators, while her Lieutenant mopped up the remnants of the resistance. What they found was Jack, dressed in combat blacks, waiting in front of the doors as they closed in, a large troop of his own men on either side.

“That’s close enough. Took you long enough to get here.”

“What do you want?” Lupo demanded.

“Daniel.”

“Jack. I’m not going with you. Not of my own free will.”

“I won’t force you, Daniel. You know I’d never do that. But you should come with us. You’d be having a hell of a lot more fun right now, if you did!” He smiled, that crazy, wolfish grin of his spreading across his face. Just then the elevator doors opened, and inside were Teal’c and Colonel Reynolds, holding Hammond between them.

“General Hammond!”

The general shook his head. “Stay where you are, Major. Wait until there’s a fight you can win.”

Lupo armed her zat. “Let him go.”

“Come on, you’re not going to shoot, Major. You won’t take a chance on his getting zatted twice. You need to chill out, Lupo. We’re all on the same side here, you just haven’t figured it out yet.” He turned back to Daniel. “You want to join us, Daniel, I know you do. Please?” He held out his hand, and Daniel thought about closing the distance between them and taking it. He was tempted, but he shook his head.

“He said that’s not what he wants.”

“He doesn’t know what he wants at the moment, Lupo. But he’ll figure it out soon enough. I’ll be waiting for you, Daniel, when you do.” There was another of those wild grins, and Jack stepped back into the elevator waving as the doors closed in front of him.

“Hey, T, you didn’t forget the lube, did ya?”

  


* * *

  


“It was all a trick. Damn. I knew there was something wrong. It just felt hinky to me, you know?” Lupo was pacing the small office, Janet watching her from behind her desk, Daniel and Sam from the chairs in front of it.

She came to a stop by the door, staring out the small pane of glass into the Infirmary beyond. “I really screwed up.”

“You can’t blame yourself, Major. The general had his mind made up from the beginning. There was nothing you could do without disobeying his direct orders. You practically begged him to reconsider.”

“Daniel’s right. You did your job, Major. Nothing we can do about it now. We’ll just have to think of something else.” Lupo turned to Sam, frowning.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re the genius around here. Maybe **you’ll** think of something. I’ll just sit here banging my head against the wall.”

Sam blushed, “Oh, well, I-um…”

Janet smiled at her. “Well, it’s true. You are a genius. But you’re not alone. Between the four of us, surely we can come up with something that will work. Don’t blame yourself, Major. You’ve done wonders with what you’ve had to work with.”

“Josefina. Not major. You guys should all call me Jo.”

“Jo?” Sam grinned, “I like that.”

“Yeah? Thanks - Sam.” Jo turned her smile on Sam, who blushed unexpectedly. “So maybe one of you geniuses can answer me this one.” She thumped down into the chair by the door. “Why us? Why are **we** not affected? We’re losing more and more people every hour. I thought at first it was just the men. But it’s not. I’ve seen more women succumb in the last hour or two, and they’re not even…” She scrubbed her face with her hands. “I mean - I don’t know what I mean.”

“No. You’re right. They’re not even. None of them. None that I know of, anyway.” There was surprise in Janet’s voice, a bright look in her eye, as if she’d just made a brilliant discovery.

Everyone was staring at her. “Sam. Think about it. Who hasn’t succumbed to this? What unacknowledged group do we represent? You and me. Major Lupo here, if my guess is right. Daniel I don’t know about. But you know we’ve wondered…”

Daniel was looking back and forth between the three, now. “Janet, are you telling me that all three of you are gay?”

“Well, I can’t speak for Jo, but Sam is and I'm bi.”

Sam’s face was bright red again, and Janet winked at her and grinned. “Janet! There was a reason not to tell Daniel, you know.”

“Why not?” He sounded indignant. Well hell. He felt indignant, too. “I’m not military. I don’t care who you sleep with. And I thought we were close. We’ve known each other for four years. I can’t believe you didn’t trust me!”

“Daniel, I know you’d never tell anybody.” Sam was up and pacing now, her voice stressed and shaky. “We just decided it made more sense to keep it quiet. I was afraid that if we got used to you knowing, we’d end up doing something, slip in front of the colonel, or General Hammond. And we just couldn’t let that happen. My career means too much to me. I’ve worked hard for this, we both have, and-”

Daniel was up in front of her, stopping her then grabbing her up in a big bear hug. “Whoa, Sam. It’s okay. Honestly, I understand. I guess I just wasn’t thinking.”

She hugged him back. “I’m glad you know. I’ve hated keeping secrets from you.”

“Well, it’s over now. Come on, sit down. We have work to do.” Sam looked gratefully at Daniel, then over to Janet, who gave her a huge grin. “So…before we get started, I have to ask – are the two of you…?”

Sam rolled her eyes. “No. Well, we used to be, but - well…”

Janet smiled at her, shaking her head. “We came to the conclusion that we make much better best friends.”

“Oh! That’s great.” The three turned to Jo, who did her own blushing. “I mean - uh. Sorry.” She shrugged and changed the subject, looking over at Daniel. “Well, that takes care of the three of us. What about you?”

Daniel paused. “I - I honestly don’t know. I mean Jack tried to kiss me a couple of months ago, and it really threw me for a loop. I’d never even thought about it before that. I just know I love women. I loved my wife. We had a great sex li - uh, sorry. That’s probably way too much information. And completely beside the point. I think now, I would have to say that it’s possible that I’m – bi?”

Sam was sitting up in her chair, her eyes bright. “The colonel tried to kiss you? What happened? Did you hit him?”

“Come on, Sam. It’s Jack. He knows a dozen ways to kill me with his pinky. Do I really look that stupid?”

Jo sighed. “He’s Special Ops, too, isn’t he? Damn. I should have known. He’s good.”

Sam grinned at her. “I heard about what you did in the gym. Daniel was very impressed.”

Jo preened just a bit. “Yeah? Well, I guess I learned a few good moves.”

Daniel and Janet exchanged a glance, which neither Sam nor Jo noticed. Daniel raised one eyebrow at the calculating look on Janet’s face. He realized she was about to start matchmaking. But then, something that had been gnawing at the back of his mind finally surfaced.

“Janet, if Jack is gay, or at least bi, since he did have a wife and child at one point, then he should be immune to this thing as well, right?”

Janet shook her head. “Not necessarily. He’s the one that got the full dose. He’s the only one whose chemistry has been altered. And he’s the only one who can infect a person with one touch. The others need a longer exposure period, and it has to be a more intimate touch. And he’s most definitely our index case - our patient zero.”

“This is not going to be an easy strike force to build.” Jo spoke reluctantly. “I mean, who chooses their team based on sexual preference? Can you imagine the trouble this will cause? They’ll have to be either obvious or out, and given the setting…”

Sam laughed. “Right, if you’re one or the other, you probably not in the military.”

“Yeah, well, if we don’t think of something quick, we won’t have any choice in the matter. We will be the only ones who haven’t been afflicted.” They all three nodded in agreement with Janet’s assessment of their predicament.

“At the moment, the only reason we haven’t already been overrun, is that they’re too busy screwing to pay attention.”

Jo got a snort and a giggle or two at that comment followed by four sighs.

“This really stinks.” Janet let her head fall back against her chair. “How long have you and I talked about how nice it would be if we didn’t have to hide, Sam? If we could be open about our sexuality without the fear of recrimination?”

Jo shrugged. “Yeah, me too. And now, we're sitting in here plotting to try and re-establish the old repressive system. Well, you’ve got to admit, they’re not proving to be the best examples of gay leadership. If they were, we wouldn’t be here in the first place, would we?" She got up and started pacing again, but this time she had a determined look on her face and Daniel got the idea she had something in mind. Good, he thought, because they could use a good idea about now.

Jo turned to the three of them with a calculating stare. “What we need is a reason to draw them out into the open. If we can get them away from the colonel - that’s all we need. If we can get him, the rest will fall apart without his leadership. He just proved that he’s been planning this all along. He had this all worked out hours ago. If we can isolate him…”

“But there’s no reason for him to take that chance.” Janet argued. “He has all the cards. He has everything he needs.”

“That’s true, he does. But he doesn’t have everything he **wants** , does he?” The other three looked at her curiously, but her eyes were only on Daniel. He sat up in his chair.

“No. I don’t think that will work. You saw him. He gave me two chances to join him already. I turned him down both times.”

“Yeah. But he could tell you were tempted. I could tell you were tempted. And I couldn’t even see your face. He could have had you if he wanted to force it.”

Sam frowned as she thought it through. “That’s true, Daniel. All he had to do was touch you. You would have gone with him whether you wanted to or not.”

“But instead he offered you the choice. He doesn’t want you unwilling. He asked you to join him. No. He practically **begged**. He’d come back for you, Daniel. You know he would.”

“That’s why you’re still here, Daniel.” Janet grabbed Daniel's hand across the desk. “He doesn’t want you unwillingly. He’d rather have you free here with us than forced to be with him, no matter how much you'd seem to be enjoying it.”

“Right.” Jo turned her chair around and straddled it as she joined the others at the desk, her eyes bright as she worked out her plan. “Okay. Here’s what we need to do.”

  


* * *

  


Daniel walked in the middle of the crowd of Airmen and Marines, feeling very much like a celebrity with bodyguards, or a high government official surrounded by secret service men. Used to only the three other members of his team watching out for him, he felt very out of place there, but he knew he was their main hope of getting through to Jack. They couldn’t afford to take the chance of losing him. So he stayed where he was.

Since he was the only one unarmed, he pushed the wheelchair Jack had requested. That had him worried. Why did Jack need a wheelchair? Was there something wrong with him? They had no idea how this whole thing was affecting him. If Jack's adrenaline levels had stayed as high as they were yesterday, he could be seriously ill. That couldn't be good for his heart. Okay, so he's in pretty good shape for his age, but still, it wouldn't take long for that kind of stress to damage an otherwise healthy heart.

He needed to stop worrying. The wheelchair may not even be for Jack. He hoped that was the case. That thought immediately set his guilt levels soaring through the ceiling. Now he was wishing ill on other people? He sighed. He just wanted the whole thing over with. He wanted Jack back. Realizing his thoughts were just leading him round in a circle, he intentionally began to look around, pay more attention to what was going on around him. He needed to get his mind off Jack for a while.

It was like walking through Wonderland; he kept expecting to see a girl chasing a rabbit with a pocket watch down the halls of the SGC, or a caterpillar with a hookah. But instead, he found even more bizarre things. In place of a tea party, there was an orgy in the mess, people stretched out over every available surface. Using the food in unusual and rather ingenious ways, he had to admit. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to eat blue jello again.

A woman he didn’t recognize, with absolutely no clothing on, was lying on a hospital gurney surrounded by lettuce leaves and fresh fruit like she was being offered on a platter, sprigs of parsley in her hair. She was being rolled around the room by one of Janet’s nurses and a member of the Maintenance staff wearing nothing but their underwear, while all three handed out bottles of lube, chocolate and blueberry syrup, and butterscotch pudding to any and all askers.

There was a daisy chain of blow jobs going on over by the serving line that included all four members of SG-3, and Daniel couldn’t tell what they were doing to the coffee carafe, but he didn’t think he’d be drinking coffee here again any time soon. He caught the scent of pancakes and bacon and realized he hadn't eaten breakfast yet this morning. He wasn't hungry anyway. He looked away then, thankful that they were leaving that particular area behind.

He wished briefly for the rest of his team, glad of Sam’s presence. And Janet. She was as trustworthy as they came. He was grateful for Jo, as well. He’d watched her during this crisis, and he’d been impressed. When he’d first met her, he’d thought her too headstrong and independent to be a good leader. But just like Jack, she could fool you.

She let you think she wasn’t paying much attention, more concentrated on herself and her own interests, but when you least expected it she proved to you that she was definitely on the ball. Her leadership style was to lead by example, and those who followed her seemed content to let her do her thing. And she did it well.

He should feel secure in this group, but all he really wanted was to have Jack O’Neill at his side. He just wanted Jack. Period. He sighed. It looked like he’d made his decision, didn’t it? But he didn’t know how that was ever going to happen now. He couldn’t see a way out of this particular mess, and he’d begun to despair, just a bit.

If things didn’t resolve themselves soon, this whole thing was going to get beyond their ability to fix; and if Washington got wind of this, he might never see Jack again. He didn't even want to think about that possibility. He was just getting used to the idea that he wanted more from Jack than his friendship; he couldn't stand the thought that Jack could get caught up in some kind of crazy power struggle like that. Something like that could ruin more than just their two lives.

He shuddered to think what those in charge of the Pentagon or the NID would do with the power to not only turn the enemy gay, but to make them lose rational thought, and start rutting like animals with no concern for their own safety or the security of their troops. They needed to make sure that could never happen, but right now, he just couldn't see a way to avoid it. He was just going to have to keep his mind focused on the problem at hand, no matter how much he'd rather concentrate on Jack.

They slowed down as they approached the meeting point. Daniel fell back at Jo's sign, then she signaled two Airmen forward to check out the hallway, her signs as crisp and precise as Jack's always were. Neutral territory. Daniel had convinced them to give him one try at talking Jack into coming back with them. None of them really wanted to try and take him by force. If he’d surrender peacefully, they’d all prefer it.

The signal was passed back - Jack was there waiting for them. They took the turn and there he was, standing in the hall, arms across his chest, his troops aligned behind him. Eight of them, the same as their strength, as per the agreement. Lupo stopped her team, and looked back at Daniel. He nodded and walked out, arms away from his body and turned around in a complete circle to prove he was unarmed. Jack did the same. The two approached and met in the middle, about five feet of space between them.

Jack didn’t look well. He looked pale, and the usual cocksure gleam in his eyes was muted. Otherwise he **seemed** about the same, except for the way he kept avoiding Daniel’s gaze. He shifted from foot to foot and Daniel realized that there was one hell of a boner trying to poke its way through Jack's combat fatigues. Okay, well, that was different.

“All you alright, Jack?”

He shrugged. “Ah. You know me, Daniel. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.”

“No. At the moment, I don’t think I do know you. I used to think I did, but this – I never expected anything like this, Jack.”

“Yeah, well. You’re not alone there, Daniel. I still can’t believe some of this stuff myself. I wish my memory was a little clearer. I barely remember the details of the first five or six hours. It’s all one big blur. And every time I think to myself that I couldn’t possibly have actually done what I seem to remember having done, I run right into a brick wall named Teal’c who reminds me that yes, that’s exactly what happened.”

“You don’t remember what you did?”

“Not all of it. And some of what I think I remember couldn’t possibly have happened. So I think I must be having hallucinations of some sort.”

Daniel grinned at him wryly. “Well, you did a lot of unbelievable things in the last twelve hours or so, Jack. They could well be real.”

“Um...no. Unless I had you on your knees in front of my chair while I gave you instructions on the proper way to give a man a blowjob, then I’d say some parts of what I’m remembering can’t be real.”

“Oh. Well. You’re right there, that didn’t happen. Um. But you did actually give lessons to one of Sam’s physicists – I think his name is Greene?” He couldn’t help the way his mouth turned down at the memory of that, it had been disturbing in more than one sense, and he didn’t like thinking about it.

He watched Jack’s eyes widen as the events came back to him. “Holy shit. Oh, Daniel. I’m sorry. I thought – that is…over the intercom, right? Oh, man. I did that.” Jack seemed even paler now, his face draining of what little color it possessed. He put his hand up against the closest wall as he swayed momentarily.

Daniel put out a hand to steady him, but just as his hand went out Jack pulled back out of his reach, shaking his head.

“Don’t touch me, Daniel. It’s not safe. I’m pretty sure this thing only travels one way…but it’s not worth taking any chances with you.” He put his back up against the wall and slid down until his butt hit the floor. He pulled his knees up, and put his arms around them, holding them tight. That’s when Daniel noticed Jack's hands were shaking.

“Jack. What’s wrong?” He glanced back at his team, Carter had Janet’s arm, holding her back – she obviously wanted to come check Jack out. He waved her back for the moment. “You need help. Let us take you back to the Infirmary, where they can take care of you and find out how to fix this. Please?”

Jack laughed but it was not a happy sound. “Daniel, this is way beyond what we can fix already. There are close to two hundred people on this base right now. That’s way too many people to keep this quiet. Someone will find out, and the NID will be here with orders to tuck me away in some private little cell at Area 51 and I’ll spend the rest of my life without ever seeing the sun again.

“We’ve been keeping up communication with the surface, but sooner or later they’ll figure out we've been lying through our teeth. We sealed the access shafts and have the elevators blocked, but they’ll get in eventually, and when they do, it’ll be all over. I have to move fast, Daniel. Everyone else reverts back to normal in about eight hours time, unless they keep re-infecting each other. You just need to keep them all apart for a while, somehow.

“But me? This is more than bone deep with me, Daniel. I don’t know the medical jargon, but I know this has changed me, and I can’t let them get hold of me. That’s why I have to leave.”

Fear clutched at Daniel’s heart. “Leave? Jack, where would you go?”

“Give me access to the Gate, and I can disappear. They’ll never find me. And destroy the address of that planet. As much as I hate the bastard that did this to me, his people don’t deserve to deal with the Pentagon, or worse, the NID.”

“No, dammit. Jack, I’m not letting you get swept away like the trash. There has to be a way to solve this. We’ll think of something. We always do. Trust us, Jack. Please? I can’t…I don’t want to lose you, Jack. Not now. Give us a chance. Give us twenty-four hours. If we can make this work in a day – figure out a way to fix this somehow, then you’ll stay. If not, well, then I’ll go with you.”

“What?”

“You’ll need someone to watch your back.”

“Daniel.”

“Please, Jack? Trust us. Please?”

“You can’t touch me, Daniel. You promise me that you won’t touch me.”

“I promise. But we can get you back to the Infirmary. This team is safe.”

Jack's eyebrows went up. “You figured it out, huh?”

Daniel grinned a little smugly before admitting. “Well, Janet did.”

“She’s a smart one.” Jack grinned and waved at her. Daniel thought wryly that she did not look happy, but she gave him a sharp salute back. “I would have guessed Lupo, but I never thought Janet and Carter were gay. Are they-?” He wiggled his eyebrows comically and Daniel had to laugh as he shook his head.

“I asked the same question. They used to be, but not anymore. Janet identifies as bi, so we’re not really sure how that works – I might be safe. I’m definitely interested in you, after all.”

That earned Daniel one of those big wolfish Jack grins, which warmed him right down to his toes. He was so relieved to see Jack. They had to find a way to get through this. They had to.

“I don’t think you’re safe, Daniel. I think it has something to do with being already active with the same sex. I’m not sure. I just figured out the gay stuff a couple of hours ago. Some of the gays on base joined us anyway. Didn’t get infected, just joined us. Can’t blame them. Don’t let them get in trouble for it, okay, Daniel? That just doesn’t seem right, you know?”

“Don’t worry, Jack. We’ll take care of everyone. I’m going to go back to the team to let them know you’re coming with us, okay? What about those guys?” He motioned to Jack’s men who were watching them closely.

“My men already know. I told them chances were good I’d leave with you guys.”

Daniel's eyebrow popped up of its own accord. That was Jack for you. He managed to annoy Daniel on a regular basis, without even trying. “You had this planned already, and you let me beg you to come with us?”

Jack winced. “Oh, hey. Not the eyebrow of doom, Daniel, please!" He shrugged. "I thought you’d agree that it was best that I leave.”

“What? Why?”

“Daniel. Two months ago I told you to your face that I didn’t want **anyone** but you. And for the last twelve hours I’ve done nothing but screw around with every man in sight, and I made damn sure you knew all about it, didn’t I? I mean it wasn’t aimed at you in particular, but still, how could you avoid knowing about it? I kind of rubbed it into the face of every single person here. I’m sorry about that.”

“I’d like to say that this has had no effect on me Jack, but I can’t. But it also showed me that I needed to open my mind a little, and think about what you told me a couple of months ago. Give myself room to consider the possibility of change. I have to admit, I don’t like what happened here today. I don’t like it at all. I never thought of myself as the jealous type, but I guess I was wrong.”

Jack perked up at that, “You were jealous? Of me?”

“I didn’t like to think of you touching or being touched by someone – someone that wasn’t me.”

“Sweet.” Jack’s smile was different this time, less predator and more personal - private, and the sparkle shone in his eyes again for just a moment.

Daniel smiled back, a little bit embarrassed by the admission. “Yes. Well. Anyway…I’ll be right back, okay? I’ll bring the wheelchair you requested.”

As they pushed Jack back toward the Infirmary he waved at his people along the way. “Jack O’Neill, God of Recreational Sex,” Daniel murmured to Sam and Jo as they passed the mess hall to the cheers of the assembled orgy goers. “I feel like I should be spreading rose petals along his path or something.”

Sam snorted and Jo laughed out loud. “Or maybe tossing out lube and condoms to the crowd?”

Sam blushed a bit, and Jo knocked her shoulder gently up against Sam’s and grinned at her. “Do you always blush like that?”

Daniel leaned across to Jo on the other side of Sam. “Only when she’s really-”

Sam clamped a hand over his mouth. “Shut up now, Daniel. Or you won’t live long enough to enjoy your new found bisexuality, got it, Jackson?”

“Oh. Girl can get tough when she wants!” Jo’s eyes were practically sparkling.

Janet came up from behind the three. “Yeah, well keep your eyes on the hallways, ladies and gentleman; we’re not back in our own territory, yet.”

Daniel sighed. “Yeah. Alright. Spoil all my fun.”

Sam elbowed him gently and grinned. She and Jo headed to opposite sides of the hallway as they came up on the elevator, checking out the hallways that intersected theirs. When they reached the elevator, there was only one Marine standing on guard. The second was kneeling before him, looking for all the world like a wet dream out of a gay porno film. Not that Daniel had ever seen a gay porno film, but he had to imagine it would look a lot like this.

The first Marine saluted as they approached, and gave absolutely no indication that the second was even there, despite his vigorous and enthusiastic performance. Jack cheered them on, giving tips which the one on his knees took to with abandon, working hard enough to finally drag a moan out of the other Marine. Watching Jack coach the Marines just pissed Daniel off, so he headed down the hall after Jo, just to get away from what was going on in front of the elevators.

They heard a call from Sam, so Daniel followed Jo to the doorway of the officer’s lounge. Two of Jo's team guarded the two infected Marines, who hardly noticed they were there. The others, ready for trouble if necessary, formed a defensive ring around Jack, lounging in his wheelchair.

When Jo and Daniel peeked around the corner of the door, they found Walter draped over Teal’c’s lap, his bare ass bright red as Teal’c swatted it soundly. Each loud smack was followed by Walter’s cry of “Thank you, sir. May I have another?” before the next swat rang out.

Hammond stepped out of the bathroom with a huge 10 gallon hat on his head, and a grin on his face that was as big as Texas. “Found that lube you were lookin’ for, Teal’c.”

Teal’c inclined his head formally as he took the bottle from him. “Excellent, General Hammond. And now that we have had the spanking, I do believe it is time for the oral sex.”

Hammond reached for his belt. “Glad to hear it.”

Daniel called out desperately. “General!”

They all three looked up at the door. Hammond waved at them. “C’mon in! You’re just in time for the oral sex!”

“Well, thanks General, but we’d really like it if you could join us in the Infirmary. Maybe you can continue the oral sex later.”

“Have you already secured O’Neill, Daniel Jackson?”

“Yeah, we have him, Teal’c. He’s headed upstairs with us now. Would you like to join us?”

“Not until we’ve had oral sex. I want my blowjob. Jack says Walter has a talented mouth.”

“Thank you, sir.” Hammond patted Walter affectionately on his red rear.

“O’Neill has requested that I escort General Hammond to the Infirmary in approximately one hour. We shall arrive at that time.”

“You’re sure, Teal’c? You won’t forget? The colonel is having some trouble with his memory.”

“My memory is fine, Major Carter. I will see you in one hour’s time. I have not yet had intercourse with Walter Davis, and I would be remiss to not follow through on my promise to him.”

Walter stood up and took his glasses off as Teal'c started to unbutton his fatigues. Sam squeaked a bit, and backed out of the door. Jo pulled her back toward the elevator. “Come on, Daniel. I don’t think we can stop either the general or Teal’c at this point. We’ll leave the majority of our team here, and they’ll keep an eye on the door. We’ll come back for them when we’ve got Colonel O’Neill secured in the Infirmary. Let’s go.”

Daniel nodded to Jo as he heard Hammond saying “Now open wide, Walter, this little dogie’s headed for the round up.” He shuddered, and without looking back into the doorway, ran to the elevator. As the elevator doors closed on the faces of the team they were leaving behind to guard the door, they heard Hammond’s voice reverberate in the hallway.

“Yeeeeee haw!”

Jack laughed, “That George. He’s a character, isn’t he?”

  


* * *

  


Daniel was dozing fitfully in a chair next to the hospital bed when the general first started to stir. Daniel called for Janet then crossed to Hammond’s bedside. His eyes opened just as Janet arrived, and he looked around, puzzled.

“I just had the strangest dream…” Janet and Daniel exchanged a brief glance, then Janet went back to checking the general’s vital signs.

“Well, General, unfortunately, I’m pretty sure what you’re remembering actually happened.”

She started to un-strap the restraints at his wrist, but he ordered her sharply – “Then you shouldn’t be touching me, Doctor!”

She shook her head and continued to free him, “No, sir. There’s no problem. You’ve been asleep since Teal'c brought you and Sergeant Davis to the Infirmary early this morning. Looks like you slept for a good 14 hours; you’re no longer contagious. How do you feel?”

Daniel went over to the other side and began to work on his other wrist and arm restraints. The general watched him closely. “You’re certain about that, Major? I don’t think we should take any chances with this thing, it’s very insidious.”

“Yes sir, I’m positive. We’ve been running tests on it since Colonel O’Neill gave himself up this morning, and we’ve discovered that as long as you’re not re-infected by someone else with the infection, the last of the symptoms disappear after approximately four to six hours, and by eight hours, you’re no longer contagious, even if you were infected by the colonel himself. And since he assures me he intentionally did not touch you once you were captured, I’m quite confident you are no longer a danger. Besides, sir, I’m immune to the effects.”

Daniel finished with the last of the straps, and Janet moved the hospital bed up into a sitting position as Daniel rearranged the pillows behind Hammond. “You are?” The general looked back and forth between the two. It was obvious from his surprise that he was aware of what that meant. Janet smiled at him.

“Does that surprise you, sir?”

“Well, yes. As a matter of fact it does. I was under the impression you’d been married. Then Colonel O’Neill was correct in his supposition that bi-sexuals are also immune?”

Daniel spoke up then. “Only if they’ve already had ummm – sexual contact with members of the same sex, General. I, for instance, could still be infected, but I was fortunate enough to stay out of the way of the contagion and avoid it all.”

The general’s voice held a bit of humor in it. “Yes, well…that might have had something to do with the fact that Colonel O’Neill threatened to keelhaul anyone who infected you.”

Daniel felt his face flush. He really needed to get over this whole blushing thing, didn’t he? “So I heard, General.”

Hammond let his smile show, “He’s quite fond of you, you know.”

“Yes, sir, so he’s told me. I have to admit, I’m rather fond of him too.” Damn. He was never going to stop blushing at this rate. Maybe he just needed to hang a big sign around his neck - “Besotted,” so everyone knew how infatuated he was over a certain silver-haired fool of a colonel.

“I’m glad to hear that, Daniel. I think you both could use a companion. You’ve both been alone for a long time.”

Daniel looked up, surprised. The general seldom used his first name, and even more rarely spoke of either of their personal lives. And despite the circumstances, it felt odd to have Jack’s superior officer discussing the possibility of a homosexual relationship between the two of them.

“Yes, I know what you’re thinking, son. I don’t think I’ll be able to say these things again, so it seemed like a good time to make it clear that I think the two of you would be good for each other. Jack can take care of himself for the most part, but he deserves a little happiness, as do you. Just be careful not to let it get around. We’re going to have to go back to the way things were, now. And I won’t risk losing the two of you to something as ridiculous as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

“Thank you, General. I appreciate your candor. I’ll – we’ll be careful.”

“So you really think we can fix this, General?” Janet’s cautious nature showed through; she was still not convinced they could get out of this thing without the Pentagon knowing what had happened, despite the cautions they were taking.

“I’ve got some of the best minds in the world working for me here, Doctor. We’ll come up with something. Now, tell me what’s been going on while I was gone.”

Jo showed up about then, followed soon after by Sam. They brought a couple of extra chairs into the observation room they’d set the general up in, closed the door for privacy, and began to sort out the events of the last two days.

Daniel was relieved that the general seemed his old self, sharp and in command, demanding an account of everyone’s actions, but not blaming anyone for the things they’d done under the effects of the infection. He was most worried about Jack, due to the mutations they’d discovered in his DNA, although the fact that the gene therapy Janet had been trying on him seemed to be having some effect relieved some of his concerns.

They were all a bit relieved that Hammond agreed with their decision to continue to falsify the reports they were sending to the Pentagon concerning the “quarantine” Jack had instated the minute he’d recruited the head of Computer Sciences to his side. Hammond was convinced that all the infected personnel would be more than willing to agree to the deception, not only to keep themselves from being brought up on charges, but also to keep the SGC in their hands, as well as protecting those immune to the effects.

Hammond had seen first hand the more positive side effects of the infection. The general had never been much of a religious man, but he’d been raised Baptist, and had in his own way been prejudiced against homosexuality just as a matter of habit and societal influence. However, having been exposed to the infection had on him the same effect it seemed to be having on everyone. Their memories were blurred and hazy, and the further they got from them, the less they remembered, but one thing had seemed to stick with everyone.

Those who’d been infected had developed a much higher tolerance for the differences in other people’s lives. Whether those differences were in sexual orientation, or shade of skin or ethnicity, religion or lack thereof - even those who’d had extremely strong prejudices suddenly realized those feelings had disappeared. They could remember those old emotions, but recognized the fault in that behavior, and had no interest in returning to their past prejudiced ways.

And that was what had convinced the general that they could pull this off, so before his memories could start to fade, they began to lay their plans and get things ready to face the outside world once again. When they left General Hammond’s room late that night, Daniel went by Jack’s room, and just stared in the window for a while, watching him sleep. When Sam slipped her arm around his waist, he started. He hadn’t even been aware she’d been there.

“You okay, Daniel?”

“Yeah. Just – well, you know. What if you guys can’t figure this out? What if Jack’s stuck this way forever?” He hated how shaky he sounded. He was pretty tired – he probably just needed some sleep. He blinked his eyes trying to focus on the body lying in the hospital bed inside.

Sam tightened her arm around his waist. “Don’t worry, Daniel. We’ll figure something out. I promise. We’re not going to leave him like this. He’ll be back to his old annoying self in no time.”

He had to smile at that. “You never would have said anything like that about him a week ago. Not where he could hear, anyway. We’ve all been changed by this thing, whether or not we’ve been infected. Everything is changed now, isn’t it? Life will never be the same for us again.”

“No, it won’t. But I don’t really think that’s a bad thing. Everyone has life affecting changes at one point or another. Here at the SGC they’re a matter of course. This one has been more far reaching than most. But it’s just one more change. We’ll get used to it. Humans are pretty adaptable creatures. We can handle this. You’ll see.”

“You really think you can figure this out?”

“I’m positive of it. Don’t worry, Daniel. You’ll have him back inside a week. Guaranteed.” She kissed his cheek. “Now, get some sleep. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Daniel hugged her tight. “Thanks, Sam. You on your way to bed, too?’

She nodded. “Yeah, I need to get an early start. See you in the morning.”

“Good night, Sam.” He watched her disappear out the Infirmary door, then turned back to the window into Jack’s room. “I know you’re awake, Jack.”

Jack lifted up his head. “Go to bed, Daniel. I’m okay.” His voice was muffled by the glass and rough with sleep, but it soothed the ache in Daniel's chest just to hear it. Jack got out of his bed, his white boxers and t-shirt glowing faintly in the dim Infirmary light and walked over to the window. “I’m learning how to control it. I don’t have to infect people anymore. I could even touch you and you’d never know I still have the gene.”

He put his hand up to the glass, his palm flattened against it. “Don’t worry about me, Daniel. I’m going to be alright. We’re both going to be alright. Now get some sleep, okay?”

Daniel put his hand up to Jack’s on the other side of the glass, wondering if he could really feel the heat of Jack’s hand though the glass or if that was his imagination. He leaned close and whispered, mischief in his eyes. “Can I sleep with you?”

Jack laughed. “I wish. But unfortunately I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’re trying to re-instate some sort of order here, Daniel. We probably shouldn’t undermine it like that.” He watched their hands for a minute, almost as if he expected their hands to meet if he bent his will to it hard enough. He smiled faintly. “I guess we’re gonna have to wait for a while. Sorry. I wish…I wish things could have gone differently.”

“Don’t worry, Jack. I can wait. I may not like it. But I can wait.” He ran his fingers down Jack’s hand, until they rested where his palm sat against the glass. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jack.” He turned and left then, hearing Jack’s voice as he walked out the door.

“Good night, Daniel. Sleep tight.”

  


* * *

  


Daniel looked both ways before slipping quietly down the hall, headed for his own personal hiding spot on level 24. There wasn’t much cause for people to be here; the halls were often deserted even during the busiest of days. One hall by the elevators had a fair amount of traffic, but only when they needed a MALP, and since the SGC was currently in quarantine, there was no traffic in or out of the complex by elevator or Stargate, so there was no need for a MALP.

There was a machine room for repair work, and the MALP’s maintenance crew had a break room next door, but most of the floor was archive and storage. He was one of the only people who visited it regularly, along with a very small staff of archivists, all of whom Daniel knew by name. He'd been down here three or four times in the two weeks they'd been stuck here under quarantine, and he'd yet to see a soul on the entire floor.

But even the archivists never came back here. It was nothing but dusty shelves and the random assorted crap accumulated by four years of running a high security facility. They didn’t want to throw anything away, so they needed a place to shove it where it would never see the light of day.

It wasn’t as if Daniel really needed a hiding place; he was perfectly capable of barricading himself in his office when necessary, and besides Jack's and Teal’c’s lessons in self defense and combat training were paying off in more ways than one. He was much more confident in his abilities, and was much less likely to back down than he’d been when he’d first come back from Abydos. He could stand up for himself these days.

But some days he just needed a place where he could go to get a little solitude, which was always hard to find in a place like the SGC, but even more difficult these days with a good two hundred or so people trapped in a relatively small space. So he came here. Not to avoid any one person, but to avoid them all. He seriously needed to think. He heard a door close, and foot steps ahead, so he ducked down a side corridor.

He waited until whoever it was had passed, then curiously took a peek. It was Jo - he'd recognize that swagger anywhere. He frowned. Maybe swagger wasn't the right word. It wasn't bravado, just the simple knowledge that she could take care of herself, no matter what came her way.

He wondered what she was doing down here. She’d gone back to being Reynolds' second when he had been declared fit to serve again, and she’d admitted that she was glad to do it. She’d done a marvelous job as head of Security, but the title called for a colonel, and despite her clearly remarkable job under very trying circumstances, it was a lot easier for a colonel to get unwavering acceptance of his or her orders than it had been for her to do the same.

She needed a few years yet, to develop that command personality that came naturally with time and experience. She was young for her position as Reynolds' second to begin with, so for now she needed the back-up of a superior’s support to reinforce her orders. She’d develop her command style in time. Well, at least that’s what Jack said. Jack. Otherwise currently known as “The Asshole.”

He stayed in the corridor for a few minutes to make sure Jo wasn’t coming back, then headed on, rounding the corner and grabbing the door handle of the storage room he was looking for. There were no security cameras in this area, a definite blind spot that had escaped the attention of several different Security Officers in his four years at the SGC. So his entrance into the area went unnoticed.

The storage room was small, dusty and filled with parts of Ancient or other alien equipment that had been discarded as useless or broken, but that the powers that be were unwilling to just toss. There was nothing that Area 51 wanted; many of his Archeological team’s remnants- the odds and ends that turned out to have little or no real value or significance were stored here, so he even had a perfectly logical excuse for being in the room.

He just happened to forget to turn on the light, right? And he sat in the corner chewing his pencil, snapping his flashlight on and off, just because he could. And the thermos of hot coffee was just Daniel being prepared at all times. They were running low on coffee, and he never knew when he might be forced to do without, although his own personal supply was fine as long as no one discovered where he kept it. And he’d never tell.

The dust in the room could have been problematic, but he now had regular shots for his allergies, as well as an extra antihistamine for trouble spots. And he’d taken one earlier, knowing this was where he intended to spend his afternoon. There was an old beat up sink in the opposite corner, and above it, a fluorescent light that buzzed and flickered and managed to put out approximately fifteen watts worth of lighting. That didn’t even begin to think about managing to light his dark corner. And that was just the way he wanted it.

It gave him a chance to think, without having to try too hard to block out other people’s voices in the corridor outside, if there were any, because the hum of the broken lighting fixture made a gentle white noise background that made him feel perfectly secluded. And peaceful. Hard to explain. But there it was. He liked his little corner, and he often used it to help him work out major problems. Like Jack. The Asshole.

The problem was he actually understood Jack’s problem. To an extent, at least. Beyond being an asshole that is. That part there was no excuse for - that part was just Jack. But the rest he could understand. Jack was terribly embarrassed by what he had done. He had already apologized to Daniel at least five times in the week he’d been out of the hospital, as well as at least once a day while he was in. It was getting old. But he understood it. Really he did.

What he didn’t understand was the hiding and avoiding part. That part? It pissed him off. Jack was avoiding him. In large and obvious ways. Everyone had commented on it. Everyone. Including the general. It was kind of charming in its own way that the general had dressed Jack down over his behavior, but in the long run it hadn’t helped. Jack still avoided him.

While they were separated by a glass window, Jack had spoken of touching, and kissing and yes, even apologizing, but there was also talk of touching and kissing, and that was good. Of course it could only be talk, since Jack was on the other side of the window. But the groundwork was there. There would be more, soon.

Then Jack got out of observation and into a regular bed on the ward, and the promised touching and kissing somehow managed to move a step away into “later – when we have privacy.” Okay. He could see the wisdom of that. So he kept his distance. Kept his words and his hands to himself, for the moment.

Then Jack had been released, and the talk of touching and kissing disappeared all together. Disappeared – right along with Jack. Who was suddenly playing a game of Keep Away, with Jack as the ball, to be kept away from Daniel at all costs. Daniel would see Jack in the mess and he'd wave Daniel over and make room for him at the table.

Which was fine, as long as there were three other people sitting with them, but as soon as it was just the two of them …well, just look at the time…suddenly Jack had a meeting with the general/appointment with Frasier/workout with Teal’c/video conference with the bigwigs at the Pentagon/inspection in the Officers Lounge/gotta see a man about a horse/talk to Carter about her technical gizmo thingies – there was always something. And after two weeks trapped with two hundred people in seventeen floors worth of “I’ve got nothing to do!” - Jack suddenly had more to do than the rest of the staff of the SGC combined.

He got the idea. Jack was afraid to be alone with him. He even understood it, in part. He had made a bit of a fool of himself, hadn’t he? But that didn’t mean he had the right to play with Daniel like this. He was trying hard not to let it bother him. He was sure they’d work it out sooner or later, but right now, it hurt. And he missed Jack. He wanted to just hang out and watch hockey games and eat popcorn and drink beer.

And okay, maybe all that would usually be on his list of things to avoid if possible, but right now he could use some comfort. And if that’s what he had to do to get it, then dammit, he’d do it. But first he had to figure out how to trap Jack into agreeing to cough up said comfort. And **that** was where he was stumped.

When Daniel heard the hand on the knob of the storage room door, he froze. If this had been a normal day in a normal week in what passed for normal here at the SGC, he would have assumed the intruder into his solitude would be Jack. Jack was the only person who’d ever found him here. But since he knew where Jack’s toy room was, the room on Level 23 that **he** hid in when he needed time to unwind and release some tension, he knew that Jack would keep his secret. Unless he never wanted to see his yo-yo or his gameboy again.

But this time it couldn’t be Jack, because Jack wasn’t interested in finding Daniel right now, was he? As a matter of fact, he was going out of his way to **not** find Daniel, so if this was Jack, then something really horrible must have happened. He slumped farther up against the wall into a pool of shadow created by shelving and the lack of lighting, and something big covered with a dirty ex-white tarp.

“Come on. It’s safe, really. I just checked it out ten minutes ago.”

“You’re sure?”

“Look at the dust on this stuff. Nobody’s been in this room in years.”

Carter took advantage of Jo’s distraction, as she took one last glance out the door before closing it quietly, to spin Jo around up against the back of the door in a move Daniel recognized from Teal’c’s self defense lessons. Jo gasped, quietly of course, then wrapped her arms around Sam’s waist, pulling her in tight against her own body.

“Oh. The woman’s got moves. I’m impressed. Where’d you learn that one?” Sam murmured something Daniel couldn’t hear into Jo’s ear, then pressed even closer up against Jo, laughing softly. “Oh, yeah? Am I gonna have to have a talk with Teal’c about this? I’m not so sure I like the idea of his putting his hands all over you like that.”

Speaking of hands, Jo’s were roaming over Sam’s back and shoulders, running up into her hair. Sam leaned back just a bit. “And exactly what gave you the idea that you had a say in where any person put their hands on my body?”

The teasing tone was light and the tilt to Sam’s head gave away the fact that she was just jerking Jo’s chain a bit. And Jo knew it, too, because she ran one hand up into Sam’s hair again, urging her head toward Jo’s as her other hand slipped low, just below the waist into the dip in the small of her back, pulling her even closer as she murmured. “Oh, I think I figured that one out the first time you did something like this.”

Their lips met, and Daniel was a little disappointed that so much of Sam’s back was to him that he really couldn’t get a good look at what seemed like quite an intense kiss. Then he realized what he was doing and closed his eyes, wondering how low he’d sunk to be experiencing love vicariously through Sam and Jo.

Damn Jack, anyway. He needed to stop this before it went any further. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass himself or the two of them by being an unintentional voyeur into their passion. He tried to come up with a graceful way to do this without just popping out from the shadows and saying surprise! Which wasn’t likely to be a smart move with a special ops trained soldier in the room. Especially since she was the only one currently wearing a gun.

“I have to admit, I’ve just about reached the end of my rope.” Jo pulled a fast move, and suddenly Sam was up against the door, and Jo was pressed up against her, one knee sliding between Sam’s legs as she nibbled on Sam’s ear.

Sam cocked her head to one side, to give Jo plenty of room to explore. “I know what you mean. If one more person interrupts me – just **one** more, I’m likely to blow apart at the seams. I can’t guarantee the safety of the culprit who keeps me away from you this time. How many times have we been interrupted, now?”

“Beats me. Fifteen? Twenty? I lost count after the incident with the peaches and the exploding light fixture. I don’t ever want to see anything like that again.”

Sam grinned widely. “That was kind of disturbing, wasn't it?”

They went back to kissing then, and Daniel hesitated. Poor things were having trouble getting time together. He totally understood. Sam was in constant demand, and Jo, well, her time was pretty valuable too right now. With this many people crammed in a fairly small work environment 24/7 for three weeks now, it was no wonder tempers were frayed and the Security team in high demand.

Maybe he could just keep still for a few minutes. They couldn’t plan on being there for long. He’d just stay in the shadows and let them spend a little time together. They deserved a chance to relax for a while, spend some quality time together before one or the other got pulled away for yet another crisis.

Just about then Sam ran her hands down over the curve of Jo’s ass, and started kneading the firm globes and whispering into her ear. Jo shuddered, her arms wrapping more firmly around Sam, her hips rolling sinuously as Sam moaned, her head thrown back against the door. Jo was working on the skin beneath her ear, biting and sucking on the soft flesh, and the gasps she was drawing from Sam indicated that the woman knew what she was doing.

One hand slipped up to knead one of Sam’s breasts through the cloth of her shirt. as Jo’s mouth slid down, sucking on the juncture between Sam’s shoulder and her neck, finding the pulse point and making Sam shiver in her arms. She reached up and grabbed Jo’s head with both hands and drew her face back up so they could kiss again, Jo moaning into her mouth. Her knee pushed up firmly between Sam’s legs, pressing against her groin and causing Sam's hips to buck up against Jo’s.

Daniel blinked as he realized that Sam’s shirt was hanging open, her undershirt pushed up to show Jo’s thumb rubbing against the bare midriff. He hadn’t noticed that happening at all, and Daniel shook his head, hoping things didn’t heat up too far. He hadn’t expected quite so much passionate action, and he realized that he tended to think of Sam in terms of a sister, and it was kind of disturbing to see her in such a sensual display. It set off all his brotherly affection alarms, and he felt like charging out there and asking Jo what her intentions were in regards to his only sister.

But obviously Sam was not at all disturbed by her actions. If anything she was spurred on by them, one hand pressing against the seam of Jo’s pants, rubbing along the crack of her ass as she panted heavily into Jo’s ear. Daniel couldn’t see her other hand, but he could see Sam’s arm working between them at waist height, and he blinked when he realized she had just freed Jo’s belt, unbuttoning and unzipping her pants and letting them sag slightly as she worked one hand between the two of them.

Whoa. He’d been expecting an extended make-out session, but this encounter was fast turning heavier than he felt comfortable with. The problem was, things had moved so fast that he was now faced with an even tougher dilemma – either he stopped the proceedings right now, or he was going to have to sit here and watch the two get a lot more personal than he ever wanted to be with either of them. His instinct was to cross the floor to Jo and pull her off of Sam, and demand a full apology for treating her with such disrespect.

But he realized that Sam was likely to consider that rather a poor substitute for the raw passion that Jo was exhibiting at the moment, as she pushed up Sam's sports bra and took one nipple into her mouth, sucking firmly on it and making Sam gasp, her head falling back against the door with a thud. Jo said something against the soft flesh of Sam’s breast and Sam laughed, a low throaty sound that made Daniel shiver as he realized he might not have a problem with seeing his sister in the throes of passion after all. That had been one hell of a sexy laugh.

Daniel closed his eyes, realizing that he wasn’t going to survive this encounter without a hard-on. He was already feeling the beginnings, his cock felt heavy in his pants and he slipped one hand down to press the heel of his hand against it, closing his eyes and concentrating on naming all the parts of his pistol as he took it apart in his head, cleaning it and putting it back together again in an effort to distract himself from the proceedings.

He really couldn’t think of anything less likely to provoke an erection. But it wasn't working. The vision of Jo, pulling her head back, letting Sam’s erect nipple slip slowly from her mouth, licking across the tip, her tongue flickering fast over it as Sam gasped, her head thrown back, just made his mouth dry. He fought the urge to gasp himself, forcing himself to breathe evenly and slowly so as not to attract any attention.

He knew that it was too late to do anything now but ride the wave with the two of them and hope he could survive this without revealing himself, because he didn’t want to end up in a small crumpled ball of broken bones, and he had a feeling that at this point that’s exactly what he’d end up as if either Jo or Sam found out that he was there.

He laughed silently at the irony. Jack would give anything to be here at the moment, he was sure of that, and he would rather be most anywhere else – including bent over an examination table with Janet’s gloved finger pressing firmly into his ass. As a matter of fact, he needed to come up with another vision, because he thought a little prostate action would not be a bad thing at the moment, and that was the last thing he needed to be thinking about.

He opened his eyes to distract himself from that thought to discover Jo on her knees in front of Sam, whose pants were pooled around one ankle, her bare thighs flashing as she hooked one knee over Jo's shoulder. With the positioning of Jo’s head it looked like she was either sucking on or using her tongue on Sam's clit. Her right arm was moving in short strokes, and in his minds eye he could see Jo's fingers deep inside Sam's pussy, moving fast.

He closed his eyes again, clenching tight against the image burning on the inside of his eyelids as he listened to Sam’s low, breathy moans interspersed with occasional gasps of pleasure. Sam had one hand on Jo’s head, her fingers white with pressure, as she rubbed the other across her own breasts, pulling the nipples, rolling them between her fingers, her hips bucking slightly with the motions of Jo’s fingers inside her.

When he heard Jo’s voice, deep and sexy, muffled slightly against Sam’s flesh, he clenched his teeth and grabbed his cock to try and stave off his own orgasm. “That’s it, baby. Give it up for me. You’re so sexy like this. I want to feel you come against my lips. I want to taste your come in my mouth. Come for me.”

Her tongue and lips were too busy after that to speak any more as she moaned against Sam’s clit, and Daniel was grateful for that; he’d almost creamed his shorts when she’d told Sam to come for her. He clenched his cock tight in his fist as Sam gasped Jo’s name, her hips bucking out of her control as she ground out the word, her face transformed by her passion as she came, Jo’s hand moving rapidly. It took all Daniel’s concentration to not join her in her orgasm; his hand tight around his cock.

He found himself easing back from the brink, sighing with relief as Jo stood and they kissed, Jo's pants sagging low on her rolling hips as Sam’s hand moved rhythmically between them. He could see much less of what was going on, now, and that was good as he didn’t know if he could go through that again without creaming his fatigues, and he really didn’t want to do that, although he didn’t think it could really be any worse than being discovered with a hard-on that wouldn’t quit.

Jo’s face was buried in Sam’s neck now and he could hear her breathing from here, trembly and gasping, muffled against Sam’s skin. He worried that Sam would end up with a bruise, because it looked to Daniel like Jo was sucking hard on the spot just under Sam’s ear, as Sam murmured to her, her words too low to carry even across the short distance between them and Daniel in his dark corner.

The rhythm of Jo’s hips changed suddenly as she gasped out, muffling the noise that was trying to force its way out against Sam's neck. Daniel was impressed with her control as she ground her hips against Sam’s hand, her hard won orgasm making her muscles tense up as she froze against Sam, but her gasps against Sam’s neck the only noise she made before she collapsed against Sam’s body.

Daniel gasped a few times himself, as softly as possible, his orgasm staved off for the moment, but near enough that he realized there was no way not to come at this point. He tried to figure out a way out of his dilemma as Sam and Jo kissed, letting his envy of the two lovers calm him a bit, bring him back even farther from the edge of orgasm.

Not that he wasn’t glad they’d had time together, but it was hard to think about the time they had and not wish that he could have some of his own – just a few minutes with Jack would have been nice. Although at this point, all he’d probably do would be punch the asshole in the face, which would be a total waste of their time together. But it was what Jack deserved, damn him. Well, maybe he’d kiss him first, then clock him; he’d have to think on that one a while.

The squawk of Jo’s radio interrupted the silence, and Daniel felt himself relaxing. This was just what they’d feared, but the timing was good for him. He sighed with relief as the two moved over to the sink, where he couldn’t see what they were doing, but heard the water, and was glad they had the opportunity to freshen up before they left the room. He kept his thoughts focused on Jack – that was keeping his hard-on from going off like a teenager’s in his fist.

Jo and Sam gave each other a once over at the door, Jo’s hand caressing Sam’s hair as she brushed a few unruly strands back from Sam’s face. “Sorry our first time had to be in a dusty old storage room, Sam. I’ll do better next time, I promise.”

Sam just laughed. “I never thought I’d ever do something like this. I still can’t believe we did. All these artifacts – I’ll never be able to face Daniel without blushing. Thank goodness he won’t know what the heck I’m doing. I’d never live this one down.”

Jo laughed. “Just think of him on his knees, with the colonel’s cock in his mouth.”

“Ewww! That’s disgusting! I’ll never get that image out of my head now.”

“Exactly. You won’t have time to focus on this, you’ll be too busy trying to scrub that thought out of your mind.”

Sam shuddered as Jo checked out the hall. One more brief kiss, and Sam headed out, leaving Jo behind so they wouldn’t be seen leaving together. Jo stepped back toward the shelves, casually running her hand along an odd item or two, brushing the dust off her fingers with a frown. Daniel held his breath as she walked the aisle one row down from him. He didn’t think she could see him in the shadows, but he really didn’t want to take the chance.

Her radio squawked again, and she turned back to the door as she spoke to Colonel Reynolds, assuring him she was on her way back to his office. As the door closed behind her, Daniel finally breathed a sigh of relief. Saved by the bell/radio. Whatever. But speaking of relief, he unbuttoned his pants, pulling out his cock. He felt vaguely guilty over this, but to be honest, he really didn’t have a choice at the moment.

It didn’t take long, just a few strokes and he was coming, gasping as he finally got some relief from the pressure his balls had been complaining about for the last fifteen or twenty minutes. He sagged back against the wall for a moment, breathing deeply, then cleaned up his mess and reached for his thermos. He was in serious need of some caffeine stimulation. Anything actually, to get his mind off the thought of Jo pushing Sam up against the door, her knee pressed up tight against Sam’s cunt.

Daniel shivered. It wasn’t going to be easy to face either of them after this, but at least Jo and Sam got some time together. He was envious, but found he couldn’t actually begrudge them their time. He had some serious thinking to do though, so he was going to have to bring his thoughts into focus, somehow. If he was going to get past this barrier Jack was throwing up, he was going to have to do something drastic.

  


* * *

  


Daniel stood in the doorway and stared down at his captive. Jack was spread-eagled on his bed, wearing nothing but black leather padded restraints wrapped securely around his wrists and ankles and a black leather blindfold shaped to mold to his face. In his sleep, he had let down the almost constant guard it required to keep his cock flaccid, so his hard-on waved proudly with his breathing. It made a nice picture. Daniel couldn’t help but smile.

Jack couldn’t get away from him this time. He’d been running from Daniel since he got out of quarantine, hiding behind one excuse or other for the past two weeks. And today, when the Pentagon had approved the last of the (falsified) documents proving that the “flu-like symptoms” of the alien contagion were finally cleared and that the quarantine on the SGC could finally be lifted, Jack had run home as soon as he could, thinking he could get away from Daniel once again.

But Daniel had been ready for him this time, waiting for him here at his own house, zat in hand, and caught him before he’d even had a chance to realize there was anything wrong. Jack would either face up to his mistakes, or Daniel would leave him tied to his own bed until he was ready to do so. He was fine with it either way. “You can stop pretending, Jack. I know you’re awake.”

Jack raised his head. “Daniel? Are you alright? What happened? Where are we?”

“We’re at your place Jack; in your bedroom, where we can be comfortable.” He sat on the side of the bed, and Jack’s head moved as he followed the sound.

“Daniel, what’s going on?” He tested his bonds, pulling on the arm restraints, as Daniel smiled.

“Pull all you want, Jack. You’re not going anywhere. The restraints are very sturdy. I’ve got you, and you’re going to stay here until I say otherwise.”

“Um. Daniel, you do know that I have a flight to D.C. in the morning, don’t you?”

“Yes Jack, I know. I don’t expect this to take that long. Do you?”

“I don’t know. Why am I tied up?”

“You’ve been avoiding me, Jack. And I’m tired of it. The general told me you volunteered for this trip to D.C. Considering how much you hate these interminable Pentagon meetings, you must really be desperate to avoid me. You and I are going to have that talk you’ve been putting off for two weeks now, and you’re not leaving this room until we do. It’s about 6 p.m. so I think that ought to give us plenty of time to talk, don’t you?”

“What do you want to talk about, Daniel?”

“Stop it, Jack. You know better than that. You’ve been avoiding me for two weeks, now. Are you trying to tell me you have nothing to talk to me about?”

“No, I know I have plenty to say to you. I – I just, well - I feel really bad right now, Daniel. I’ve acted like a real ass lately, but that’s because I just don’t know what to say. How to act around you anymore. I really blew it. I know that. I still feel like there’s got to be something I can do to apologize, but I don’t know what. I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you need to apologize for, Jack? I’ve already forgiven you for the whole sex god thing. It’s not like you did it on purpose, anyway. You were under the influence, weren’t you? What could you possibly have done to stop it? I mean besides not smacking that Medicine Man upside the head with his own totem. But it’s not like you aimed at him or anything. How could you have known that animal was going to attack your boot like that? Or that the Shaman was going to try and reach for the club just as you lost your balance?”

“Is that what happened? See I never knew how he got so close to me. He was reaching for the club when I threw my arm back to try to keep my balance – Well, at least now it makes sense. Daniel?”

“Yes, Jack?”

“Any chance we can get rid of all this stuff?” He shook one wrist restraint, making the chain rattle against the wooden headboard.

“Sorry, Jack. But I don’t think so. Not until we’ve talked. I can take off the blindfold, though, if that will help.”

“That would be great.”

“Close your eyes, then.” Daniel slid the blindfold off Jack’s face, up over his head and laid it on the night stand. He ran his hand over the side of Jack’s face, and Jack sighed, turning his hand into Daniel’s caress.

Jack opened his eyes slowly, but the light wasn’t all that bright, just the orange and gold setting sun filling the room with warm hues, so Daniel didn't expect Jack would have much trouble adjusting to it. “That’s much better. Thanks. You look good.”

Daniel glanced up at him. “I do?”

“Yeah, you look like you belong here. In my bedroom.”

“Do I, now?” Jack watched him closely as he felt a flush hit his face.

Jack grinned. “I like it when you blush.” He tried to touch Daniel’s face, but came up against the wrist restraint, jerking to an abrupt halt. “Oh, yeah. You know, not that I’m objecting to the restraints, because under the right circumstances this could be pretty hot, but – why am I tied up like this again?”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Something to do with your refusal to face me and have that ‘meaningful discussion’ you keep telling me we really need to have before we do anything. Remember that conversation? The one we had the day you got out of quarantine? The reason you’ve been avoiding me for the last two weeks?”

“Oh, right. I knew that. Really. I did.”

“So?”

“Maybe I’d have been better off with the blindfold. It might be easier that way.”

“I’ll be glad to put it back on, if that’s what you really want.”

“No, not really. I mean it would probably be easier on me, but you deserve to have me say this to your face.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve just been afraid – afraid that you wouldn't be able to forgive me for the way I acted.” He rushed on, like he knew Daniel would interrupt him, and he was right, Daniel came close, but he closed his mouth again, realizing Jack needed to get this out.

“I know you’ve forgiven me for what I’ve done, two or three times already, but I still feel uncomfortable about it. In spite of the fact that my memories have gotten a bit blurry, I still know what I did, and how much pain it caused you. Every time I see you, the guilt comes back. Every time I think about it, it almost overwhelms me how much I’ve put you through lately.

“When I see you it makes me feel worse and worse and I just feel like banging my head against the nearest wall until I pass out or you go away, which ever comes first. I know it’s totally irrational, but it’s the way I feel, and I don’t know how to deal with it any other way. I’m just so sorry Daniel. I really am.”

“I know you are, Jack. And I appreciate that. But it’s now time to get past that. That’s why you’re wearing the restraints. You can’t get away. You’re going to have to face this. I’ll stay here all night if that’s what it takes. Neither of us is going anywhere until we get this whole thing worked out. Understand?”

“Um. Maybe? So how did you manage to do this?”

“Well, Sam and Jo helped, and I borrowed the restraints from Walter.”

“Walter? That little devil. I never would have suspected half the stuff he came up with, you know? Did he tell you about-”

“Jack.”

Jack blinked up at Daniel, totally de-railed. “Yes, Daniel?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

“Good. Because now, I have a few things to say. And this time, you’re going to let me talk. You can’t run away, and if you try to argue with me, I’ll put in this handy ball gag that Walter brought by with the restraints.”

Jack looked a little alarmed by that, and Daniel smiled.

“Don’t worry, it’s been disinfected. I cleaned it quite carefully. And I will be glad to use it if I need to. Understood?”

Jack didn’t say a word, just nodded slowly. Daniel’s smile got wider. “Good.” He set the gag back on the night table, reached behind Jack, and propped a pillow up behind his head to give him a clearer view.

Daniel could tell he wanted to crack a joke or something, just to break the tension. That would be just his style, wouldn't it? But it seemed he was able to control his inner court jester and instead he simply nodded. “I’m listening, Daniel.”

“Thank you, Jack. Okay, I’ve got plans for this evening, so I’m going to keep this short.”

“Plans?”

“Did I say you could talk?”

“Sorry.”

“That’s better. I know how you feel, Jack. I know you’re upset, worried that I’m going to resent the things that you did, that I won’t be able to forgive you for the whole sex live on the air thing. But the fact is that I never held that against you. Not even when it was happening. I knew that you would never have done that of your own free will. I know you were under the influence of that crazy mutating gene of yours. I don’t blame you for any of it.

“I’m actually glad it happened. Not that everyone else got trapped in it, I’m not that cruel. But I’m glad for what it woke me up to. If it hadn’t been for this whole crazy thing, I may have never come to the realization that I wanted to be with you.

"That as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I’m crazy about you, and I think I must just be crazy, period, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I know you’re not going to leave the military, so I’m resigned to putting up with all the crap that goes with hiding who we are and what we are from the rest of the world.

“Sam and Jo spent a couple of hours in here this afternoon sweeping for bugs and putting in anti-detection devices. So for tonight, it’s just the two of us.” Daniel stood up then and walked to the end of the bed, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, revealing a little bit more flesh with each button, watching Jack’s eyes as he followed Daniel's hands, and smiling as Jack's hard-on stood up even prouder than before.

“Tonight I don’t want to hear one more word about forgiveness or apologies or avoiding the facts. All I want is the two of us, in this room, and lots and lots of touching and kissing and stroking and loving and – are you getting the idea here, Jack?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m getting the idea. Um. Any chance I’ll get to do some touching, too?” He glanced up at the restraint on his wrist, cocking an eyebrow at Daniel.

“Hmmm. Well, to be honest, I kind of like things just the way they are, for now. Maybe later we can get rid of them, but for the moment…”

Daniel leaned over and ran his fingernails down the inside of Jack’s thigh, scratching lightly at the skin and hair, and raising goose bumps all over Jack’s body. He ran his eyes up and down Jack’s lean form, smiling broadly as Jack’s cock twitched, feeling like a predator sizing up his prey.

Jack swallowed – a couple of times, before he managed even a few words, his voice low and scratchy. “Oh, god, Daniel. I had no idea-” Jack watched as Daniel dropped his shirt and reached for his pants, pushing his underwear down with them, then crawling naked onto the bed between Jack’s legs until he was kneeling over him, one hand planted on either side of Jack’s head.

“So Jack. I hear there have been a few side effects of this gene mutation that Janet was unable to totally get rid of. Is that so?”

Jack blinked, creasing his brow as he tried to focus on the topic at hand. “Side effects…Oh. You mean the almost inexhaustible supply of erections I seem to have available at a moments notice? Yeah, yeah.” He glanced down at his cock, fat and heavy and standing up in the air. He finally got all the pistons firing at the same time, and his old smart ass attitude started to reassert itself.

“As a matter of fact I **do** seem to be able to pop a woody at the drop of a hat, lately. And it doesn’t matter whose hat or why they drop it, I can get hard and stay that way as long as I need to.”

“I see. You been practicing this maneuver, Jack?”

He shrugged casually. “Well, clinical studies and all - in the interest of science, of course. And besides, I’ve been thinking about taking on a younger lover.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. It never hurts to have a trick or two up your sleeve, or down your boxers, if you know what I mean.”

Daniel lowered his body onto Jack’s and rubbed sinuously against him and smiled with pleasure as Jack moaned with the touch. And finally, they kissed. A real kiss. Deep and passionate, claiming and hungry, and Daniel was happy to discover Jack had been telling the truth months ago, back when this whole thing first started. He really **was** a good kisser. Daniel’s hips moved on their own and their hard-ons rubbed slickly up against each other as they both moaned loudly.

“Oh, yeah, Daniel. I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted this. Finally. Finally.”

Daniel pulled back enough to look into his captive’s eyes. “Did I tell you you were allowed to talk, Jack?” His voice was rough and full of passion, and brooked no argument. Jack’s eyes opened wide, his pupils so dilated with his hunger that only a small rim of brown showed, and his mouth snapped shut.

Daniel smiled, that predatory smile, as he closed in on Jack’s mouth and forced it back open with his tongue. Jack moaned as he surrendered his mouth to Daniel’s, and Daniel explored it, plundering it, taking it over and making it his own. He pulled back slightly and whispered his pleasure against Jack’s lips. “That’s more like it.”

And there were no more words for a very long time.

  


* * *

  


 **Epilogue**

  
Jack ran underneath the helicopter blades to where Major Davis was standing.

“Welcome, sir. I trust you had a pleasant flight, despite the delays?”

He snapped off a salute. “Thank you, Major Davis. No problems at all. Did they start without me?”

“Not really, sir. The Joint Chiefs of Staff are already here, but we’re still waiting on the Secretary of Defense. He should be here in about five minutes.”

“Good. Good. I know you said that there are bathroom facilities inside the conference room, but I’d like to take a couple of minutes in the little boy’s room before I have to shake hands with all the boys with the big toys. Can you arrange that for me?” He hid his grin at the strained smile on Davis’ face. The man just really needed to learn how to relax and take a joke.

“Yes, sir. I’ll show you to the bathroom closest to the conference room where the meeting is being held.” He led the way down the stairs from the helo pad on the Pentagon’s roof, past the security guards, and down into the Pentagon proper. Jack followed him, relaxed, casual. Wouldn’t do to seem uptight at this point, would it? No matter how nervous he was.

Jack took care of business and then splashed water on his face, staring up into the mirror, his stomach tied up in knots. He hadn’t actually tried this since he’d learned how to control the ability. No opportunities to test it without letting Janet know that she hadn’t actually gotten rid of it like she thought she had.

He was taking a huge risk, here. If this didn’t work, Daniel would never forgive him. He’d never have the chance to. Jack would be locked up in Area 51 for the rest of his days, and never see Daniel again. But he needed to do this. He didn’t want Daniel to have to live a lie for the rest of his life. The man had done enough for this country already. They both had. It was time they got something for themselves. Besides, he told himself, it was just the right thing to do.

Jack waited inside until he heard Davis’ voice speaking to the Secretary of Defense, letting him know that if he stepped inside, Colonel O’Neill would be there momentarily. He dried his hands and face, then taking one last look in the mirror, he strengthened his resolve. This one is for Daniel, he thought. His stomach began to settle. This was the right thing to do, even if Daniel would disagree. That’s why he wasn’t telling him until after the fact. He grabbed his briefcase and headed out the door.

“You coming in with us, Major?”

“Yes, sir, I am. I appreciate your asking me to join you. I usually only find out what goes on in the closed sessions after the fact. It will be nice to be in on it from the beginning this time.”

“Well, you’ve been a loyal supporter of the SGC for a long time now, Davis. I think you deserve to find out about this first hand. And no one else knows about it, right? No listening devices or hidden video equipment?”

“No, sir. I took particular care of the arrangements myself. The room is clean and soundproofed, as requested.”

“Plenty of snack foods, sodas - that kind of thing?”

“Yes, sir. I took care of everything. It’s going to be a long session, sir?”

“Oh yeah, Major. I’d say it’s gonna be a good long one. Don’t worry, though. It’ll be worth it. You have my word on that one.” He hid a grin as he thought about the dozen bottles of lube and the boxes of condoms stashed in his briefcase. That ought to hold them. He sighed when he thought about it. The Joint Chiefs of Staff were not the prettiest belles of the ball, that was for sure. And the Secretary of Defense? He repressed a shudder. Hopefully he could foist the Secretary off on Davis. If not, well he’d just have to bite the bullet. Or something. This one is for you, Daniel. Only for you.

As the guard examined their IDs, Jack took one last look down the long hall behind him. This was it. The guard passed them through and Davis held the door open for Jack. He walked through the door, his wolfish grin firmly in place as he rubbed his hands together briskly. He stepped up to the table, laying his briefcase down, but declining to sit. He glanced around at the assembled men that represented the combined power of the United States military forces and his eyes sparkled as he spoke.

"Gentlemen. Have I got news for you."

 **End**


End file.
